Removing tensor.data usage in utils with tensor set_ method (#63867)

Removing tensor.data usage in utils with tensor set_ method (#63867)

Summary:
Pull Request resolved: https://github.com/pytorch/pytorch/pull/63867

When updating the model parameter, updating `parameter.data` is no longer recommended, because this `data` field will be deprecated in the future.

The replacement is `tensor.set_`.

ghstack-source-id: 136531233

Test Plan: buck test mode/dev-nosan //caffe2/test/distributed:distributed_nccl_spawn -- test_periodic_model_averager

Reviewed By: SciPioneer

Differential Revision: D30513613

fbshipit-source-id: 402efb9c30fafc3f285bebc631639f656ceae585