replace sink/source SET_STATE handlers with callbacks

replace sink/source SET_STATE handlers with callbacks

There are no behaviour changes, the code from almost all the SET_STATE
handlers is moved with minimal changes to the newly introduced
set_state_in_io_thread() callback. The only exception is module-tunnel,
which has to call pa_sink_render() after pa_sink.thread_info.state has
been updated. The set_state_in_io_thread() callback is called before
updating that variable, so moving the SET_STATE handler code to the
callback isn't possible.

The purpose of this change is to make it easier to get state change
handling right in modules. Hooking to the SET_STATE messages in modules
required care in calling pa_sink/source_process_msg() at the right time
(or not calling it at all, as was the case on resume failures), and
there were a few bugs (fixed before this patch). Now the core takes care
of ordering things correctly.

Another motivation for this change is that there was some talk about
adding a suspend_cause variable to pa_sink/source.thread_info. The
variable would be updated in the core SET_STATE handler, but that would
not work with the old design, because in case of resume failures modules
didn't call the core message handler.