1 <!DOCTYPE HTML PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD HTML 4.01 Transitional//EN"><html><head><title>The Project Gutenberg Etext of Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, by Lewis Carroll</title> <meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=iso-8859-1"><style type="text/css"><!-- body{margin:10%;text-align:justify}p.asterisks{font-size:150%;font-family:monospace;text-align:center}--></style> </head><body><pre>
2 The Project Gutenberg Etext of Alice's Adventures in Wonderland
3 This is an HTML reprint of #1 in our series by Lewis Carroll
6 Copyright laws are changing all over the world, be sure to check
7 the copyright laws for your country before posting these files!!
9 Please take a look at the important information in this header.
10 We encourage you to keep this file on your own disk, keeping an
11 electronic path open for the next readers. Do not remove this.
14 **Welcome To The World of Free Plain Vanilla Electronic Texts**
16 **Etexts Readable By Both Humans and By Computers, Since 1971**
18 *These Etexts Prepared By Hundreds of Volunteers and Donations*
20 Information on contacting Project Gutenberg to get Etexts, and
21 further information is included below. We need your donations.
24 Alice's Adventures in Wonderland
26 [Also known as "Alice in Wonderland"]
30 May, 1997 [Etext #928]
31 [Date last updated: April 15, 2005]
34 The Project Gutenberg Etext of Alice's Adventures in Wonderland
35 *****This file should be named alice30h.htm or alice30h.zip****
37 Corrected EDITIONS of our etexts get a new NUMBER, alice31h.htm.
40 This etext was prepared by James Rose, Granada Hills, CA.
43 We are now trying to release all our books one month in advance
44 of the official release dates, for time for better editing.
46 Please note: neither this list nor its contents are final till
47 midnight of the last day of the month of any such announcement.
48 The official release date of all Project Gutenberg Etexts is at
49 Midnight, Central Time, of the last day of the stated month. A
50 preliminary version may often be posted for suggestion, comment
51 and editing by those who wish to do so. To be sure you have an
52 up to date first edition [xxxxx10x.xxx] please check file sizes
53 in the first week of the next month. Since our ftp program has
54 a bug in it that scrambles the date [tried to fix and failed] a
55 look at the file size will have to do, but we will try to see a
56 new copy has at least one byte more or less.
59 Information about Project Gutenberg (one page)
61 We produce about two million dollars for each hour we work. The
62 fifty hours is one conservative estimate for how long it we take
63 to get any etext selected, entered, proofread, edited, copyright
64 searched and analyzed, the copyright letters written, etc. This
65 projected audience is one hundred million readers. If our value
66 per text is nominally estimated at one dollar then we produce $2
67 million dollars per hour this year as we release thirty-two text
68 files per month: or 400 more Etexts in 1996 for a total of 800.
69 If these reach just 10% of the computerized population, then the
70 total should reach 80 billion Etexts.
72 The Goal of Project Gutenberg is to Give Away One Trillion Etext
73 Files by the December 31, 2001. [10,000 x 100,000,000=Trillion]
74 This is ten thousand titles each to one hundred million readers,
75 which is only 10% of the present number of computer users. 2001
76 should have at least twice as many computer users as that, so it
77 will require us reaching less than 5% of the users in 2001.
80 We need your donations more than ever!
83 All donations should be made to "Project Gutenberg/CMU": and are
84 tax deductible to the extent allowable by law. (CMU = Carnegie
87 For these and other matters, please mail to:
93 When all other email fails try our Executive Director:
94 Michael S. Hart [hart@pobox.com]
96 We would prefer to send you this information by email
97 (Internet, Bitnet, Compuserve, ATTMAIL or MCImail).
100 If you have an FTP program (or emulator), please
101 FTP directly to the Project Gutenberg archives:
102 [Mac users, do NOT point and click. . .type]
104 ftp uiarchive.cso.uiuc.edu
107 cd etext/etext90 through /etext96
108 or cd etext/articles [get suggest gut for more information]
110 get or mget [to get files. . .set bin for zip files]
114 GET NEW GUT for general information
116 MGET GUT* for newsletters.
118 **Information prepared by the Project Gutenberg legal advisor**
122 ***START**THE SMALL PRINT!**FOR PUBLIC DOMAIN ETEXTS**START***
123 Why is this "Small Print!" statement here? You know: lawyers.
124 They tell us you might sue us if there is something wrong with
125 your copy of this etext, even if you got it for free from
126 someone other than us, and even if what's wrong is not our
127 fault. So, among other things, this "Small Print!" statement
128 disclaims most of our liability to you. It also tells you how
129 you can distribute copies of this etext if you want to.
131 *BEFORE!* YOU USE OR READ THIS ETEXT
132 By using or reading any part of this PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm
133 etext, you indicate that you understand, agree to and accept
134 this "Small Print!" statement. If you do not, you can receive
135 a refund of the money (if any) you paid for this etext by
136 sending a request within 30 days of receiving it to the person
137 you got it from. If you received this etext on a physical
138 medium (such as a disk), you must return it with your request.
140 ABOUT PROJECT GUTENBERG-TM ETEXTS
141 This PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm etext, like most PROJECT GUTENBERG-
142 tm etexts, is a "public domain" work distributed by Professor
143 Michael S. Hart through the Project Gutenberg Association at
144 Carnegie-Mellon University (the "Project"). Among other
145 things, this means that no one owns a United States copyright
146 on or for this work, so the Project (and you!) can copy and
147 distribute it in the United States without permission and
148 without paying copyright royalties. Special rules, set forth
149 below, apply if you wish to copy and distribute this etext
150 under the Project's "PROJECT GUTENBERG" trademark.
152 To create these etexts, the Project expends considerable
153 efforts to identify, transcribe and proofread public domain
154 works. Despite these efforts, the Project's etexts and any
155 medium they may be on may contain "Defects". Among other
156 things, Defects may take the form of incomplete, inaccurate or
157 corrupt data, transcription errors, a copyright or other
158 intellectual property infringement, a defective or damaged
159 disk or other etext medium, a computer virus, or computer
160 codes that damage or cannot be read by your equipment.
162 LIMITED WARRANTY; DISCLAIMER OF DAMAGES
163 But for the "Right of Replacement or Refund" described below,
164 [1] the Project (and any other party you may receive this
165 etext from as a PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm etext) disclaims all
166 liability to you for damages, costs and expenses, including
167 legal fees, and [2] YOU HAVE NO REMEDIES FOR NEGLIGENCE OR
168 UNDER STRICT LIABILITY, OR FOR BREACH OF WARRANTY OR CONTRACT,
169 INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, PUNITIVE
170 OR INCIDENTAL DAMAGES, EVEN IF YOU GIVE NOTICE OF THE
171 POSSIBILITY OF SUCH DAMAGES.
173 If you discover a Defect in this etext within 90 days of
174 receiving it, you can receive a refund of the money (if any)
175 you paid for it by sending an explanatory note within that
176 time to the person you received it from. If you received it
177 on a physical medium, you must return it with your note, and
178 such person may choose to alternatively give you a replacement
179 copy. If you received it electronically, such person may
180 choose to alternatively give you a second opportunity to
181 receive it electronically.
183 THIS ETEXT IS OTHERWISE PROVIDED TO YOU "AS-IS". NO OTHER
184 WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, ARE MADE TO YOU AS
185 TO THE ETEXT OR ANY MEDIUM IT MAY BE ON, INCLUDING BUT NOT
186 LIMITED TO WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY OR FITNESS FOR A
189 Some states do not allow disclaimers of implied warranties or
190 the exclusion or limitation of consequential damages, so the
191 above disclaimers and exclusions may not apply to you, and you
192 may have other legal rights.
195 You will indemnify and hold the Project, its directors,
196 officers, members and agents harmless from all liability, cost
197 and expense, including legal fees, that arise directly or
198 indirectly from any of the following that you do or cause:
199 [1] distribution of this etext, [2] alteration, modification,
200 or addition to the etext, or [3] any Defect.
202 DISTRIBUTION UNDER "PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm"
203 You may distribute copies of this etext electronically, or by
204 disk, book or any other medium if you either delete this
205 "Small Print!" and all other references to Project Gutenberg,
208 [1] Only give exact copies of it. Among other things, this
209 requires that you do not remove, alter or modify the
210 etext or this "small print!" statement. You may however,
211 if you wish, distribute this etext in machine readable
212 binary, compressed, mark-up, or proprietary form,
213 including any form resulting from conversion by word pro-
214 cessing or hypertext software, but only so long as
217 [*] The etext, when displayed, is clearly readable, and
218 does *not* contain characters other than those
219 intended by the author of the work, although tilde
220 (~), asterisk (*) and underline (_) characters may
221 be used to convey punctuation intended by the
222 author, and additional characters may be used to
223 indicate hypertext links; OR
225 [*] The etext may be readily converted by the reader at
226 no expense into plain ASCII, EBCDIC or equivalent
227 form by the program that displays the etext (as is
228 the case, for instance, with most word processors);
231 [*] You provide, or agree to also provide on request at
232 no additional cost, fee or expense, a copy of the
233 etext in its original plain ASCII form (or in EBCDIC
234 or other equivalent proprietary form).
236 [2] Honor the etext refund and replacement provisions of this
237 "Small Print!" statement.
239 [3] Pay a trademark license fee to the Project of 20% of the
240 net profits you derive calculated using the method you
241 already use to calculate your applicable taxes. If you
242 don't derive profits, no royalty is due. Royalties are
243 payable to "Project Gutenberg Association/Carnegie-Mellon
244 University" within the 60 days following each
245 date you prepare (or were legally required to prepare)
246 your annual (or equivalent periodic) tax return.
248 WHAT IF YOU *WANT* TO SEND MONEY EVEN IF YOU DON'T HAVE TO?
249 The Project gratefully accepts contributions in money, time,
250 scanning machines, OCR software, public domain etexts, royalty
251 free copyright licenses, and every other sort of contribution
252 you can think of. Money should be paid to "Project Gutenberg
253 Association / Carnegie-Mellon University".
255 *END*THE SMALL PRINT! FOR PUBLIC DOMAIN ETEXTS*Ver.04.29.93*END*
264 <h1 align="Center">ALICE'S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND</h1>
266 <h3 align="Center">Lewis Carroll</h3>
268 <p align="Center"><i>THE MILLENNIUM FULCRUM EDITION 3.0</i></p>
271 <h3 align="Center">CHAPTER I</h3>
273 <h3 align="Center">Down the Rabbit-Hole</h3>
275 <p>Alice was beginning to get very tired of sitting by her sister
276 on the bank, and of having nothing to do: once or twice she had
277 peeped into the book her sister was reading, but it had no
278 pictures or conversations in it, 'and what is the use of a book,'
279 thought Alice 'without pictures or conversation?'</p>
281 <p>So she was considering in her own mind (as well as she could,
282 for the hot day made her feel very sleepy and stupid), whether
283 the pleasure of making a daisy-chain would be worth the trouble
284 of getting up and picking the daisies, when suddenly a White
285 Rabbit with pink eyes ran close by her.</p>
287 <p>There was nothing so <i>very</i> remarkable in that; nor did
288 Alice think it so <i>very</i> much out of the way to hear the
289 Rabbit say to itself, 'Oh dear! Oh dear! I shall be late!' (when
290 she thought it over afterwards, it occurred to her that she ought
291 to have wondered at this, but at the time it all seemed quite
292 natural); but when the Rabbit actually <i>took a watch out of its
293 waistcoat-pocket,</i> and looked at it, and then hurried on,
294 Alice started to her feet, for it flashed across her mind that
295 she had never before seen a rabbit with either a
296 waistcoat-pocket, or a watch to take out of it, and burning with
297 curiosity, she ran across the field after it, and fortunately was
298 just in time to see it pop down a large rabbit-hole under the
301 <p>In another moment down went Alice after it, never once
302 considering how in the world she was to get out again.</p>
304 <p>The rabbit-hole went straight on like a tunnel for some way,
305 and then dipped suddenly down, so suddenly that Alice had not a
306 moment to think about stopping herself before she found herself
307 falling down a very deep well.</p>
309 <p>Either the well was very deep, or she fell very slowly, for
310 she had plenty of time as she went down to look about her and to
311 wonder what was going to happen next. First, she tried to look
312 down and make out what she was coming to, but it was too dark to
313 see anything; then she looked at the sides of the well, and
314 noticed that they were filled with cupboards and book-shelves;
315 here and there she saw maps and pictures hung upon pegs. She took
316 down a jar from one of the shelves as she passed; it was labelled
317 'ORANGE MARMALADE', but to her great disappointment it was empty:
318 she did not like to drop the jar for fear of killing somebody, so
319 managed to put it into one of the cupboards as she fell past
322 <p>'Well!' thought Alice to herself, 'after such a fall as this,
323 I shall think nothing of tumbling down stairs! How brave they'll
324 all think me at home! Why, I wouldn't say anything about it, even
325 if I fell off the top of the house!' (Which was very likely
328 <p>Down, down, down. Would the fall <i>never</i> come to an end!
329 'I wonder how many miles I've fallen by this time?' she said
330 aloud. 'I must be getting somewhere near the centre of the earth.
331 Let me see: that would be four thousand miles down, I think--'
332 (for, you see, Alice had learnt several things of this sort in
333 her lessons in the schoolroom, and though this was not a <i>very</i>
334 good opportunity for showing off her knowledge, as there was no
335 one to listen to her, still it was good practice to say it over)
336 '--yes, that's about the right distance--but then I wonder what
337 Latitude or Longitude I've got to?' (Alice had no idea what
338 Latitude was, or Longitude either, but thought they were nice
339 grand words to say.)</p>
341 <p>Presently she began again. 'I wonder if I shall fall right
342 <i>through</i> the earth! How funny it'll seem to come out among
343 the people that walk with their heads downward! The Antipathies,
344 I think--' (she was rather glad there <i>was</i> no one listening, this
345 time, as it didn't sound at all the right word) '--but I shall
346 have to ask them what the name of the country is, you know.
347 Please, Ma'am, is this New Zealand or Australia?' (and she tried
348 to curtsey as she spoke--fancy <i>curtseying</i> as you're
349 falling through the air! Do you think you could manage it?) 'And
350 what an ignorant little girl she'll think me for asking! No,
351 it'll never do to ask: perhaps I shall see it written up
354 <p>Down, down, down. There was nothing else to do, so Alice soon
355 began talking again. 'Dinah'll miss me very much to-night, I
356 should think!' (Dinah was the cat.) 'I hope they'll remember her
357 saucer of milk at tea-time. Dinah my dear! I wish you were down
358 here with me! There are no mice in the air, I'm afraid, but you
359 might catch a bat, and that's very like a mouse, you know. But do
360 cats eat bats, I wonder?' And here Alice began to get rather
361 sleepy, and went on saying to herself, in a dreamy sort of way,
362 'Do cats eat bats? Do cats eat bats?' and sometimes, 'Do bats eat
363 cats?' for, you see, as she couldn't answer either question, it
364 didn't much matter which way she put it. She felt that she was
365 dozing off, and had just begun to dream that she was walking hand
366 in hand with Dinah, and saying to her very earnestly, 'Now,
367 Dinah, tell me the truth: did you ever eat a bat?' when suddenly,
368 thump! thump! down she came upon a heap of sticks and dry leaves,
369 and the fall was over.</p>
371 <p>Alice was not a bit hurt, and she jumped up on to her feet in
372 a moment: she looked up, but it was all dark overhead; before her
373 was another long passage, and the White Rabbit was still in
374 sight, hurrying down it. There was not a moment to be lost: away
375 went Alice like the wind, and was just in time to hear it say, as
376 it turned a corner, 'Oh my ears and whiskers, how late it's
377 getting!' She was close behind it when she turned the corner, but
378 the Rabbit was no longer to be seen: she found herself in a long,
379 low hall, which was lit up by a row of lamps hanging from the
382 <p>There were doors all round the hall, but they were all locked;
383 and when Alice had been all the way down one side and up the
384 other, trying every door, she walked sadly down the middle,
385 wondering how she was ever to get out again.</p>
387 <p>Suddenly she came upon a little three-legged table, all made
388 of solid glass; there was nothing on it except a tiny golden key,
389 and Alice's first thought was that it might belong to one of the
390 doors of the hall; but, alas! either the locks were too large, or
391 the key was too small, but at any rate it would not open any of
392 them. However, on the second time round, she came upon a low
393 curtain she had not noticed before, and behind it was a little
394 door about fifteen inches high: she tried the little golden key
395 in the lock, and to her great delight it fitted!</p>
397 <p>Alice opened the door and found that it led into a small
398 passage, not much larger than a rat-hole: she knelt down and
399 looked along the passage into the loveliest garden you ever saw.
400 How she longed to get out of that dark hall, and wander about
401 among those beds of bright flowers and those cool fountains, but
402 she could not even get her head though the doorway; 'and even if
403 my head <i>would</i> go through,' thought poor Alice, 'it would
404 be of very little use without my shoulders. Oh, how I wish I
405 could shut up like a telescope! I think I could, if I only know
406 how to begin.' For, you see, so many out-of-the-way things had
407 happened lately, that Alice had begun to think that very few
408 things indeed were really impossible.</p>
410 <p>There seemed to be no use in waiting by the little door, so
411 she went back to the table, half hoping she might find another
412 key on it, or at any rate a book of rules for shutting people up
413 like telescopes: this time she found a little bottle on it,
414 ('which certainly was not here before,' said Alice,) and round
415 the neck of the bottle was a paper label, with the words 'DRINK
416 ME' beautifully printed on it in large letters.</p>
418 <p>It was all very well to say 'Drink me,' but the wise little
419 Alice was not going to do <i>that</i> in a hurry. 'No, I'll look
420 first,' she said, 'and see whether it's marked "<i>poison</i>" or
421 not'; for she had read several nice little histories about
422 children who had got burnt, and eaten up by wild beasts and other
423 unpleasant things, all because they <i>would</i> not remember the
424 simple rules their friends had taught them: such as, that a
425 red-hot poker will burn you if you hold it too long; and that if
426 you cut your finger <i>very</i> deeply with a knife, it usually
427 bleeds; and she had never forgotten that, if you drink much from
428 a bottle marked '<i>poison</i>,' it is almost certain to disagree
429 with you, sooner or later.</p>
431 <p>However, this bottle was <i>not</i> marked 'poison,' so Alice
432 ventured to taste it, and finding it very nice, (it had, in fact,
433 a sort of mixed flavour of cherry-tart, custard, pine-apple,
434 roast turkey, toffee, and hot buttered toast,) she very soon
437 <p class="asterisks">
439 * * * * *
441 * * * *
443 * * * * *
447 <p>'What a curious feeling!' said Alice; 'I must be shutting up
448 like a telescope.'</p>
450 <p>And so it was indeed: she was now only ten inches high, and
451 her face brightened up at the thought that she was now the right
452 size for going through the little door into that lovely garden.
453 First, however, she waited for a few minutes to see if she was
454 going to shrink any further: she felt a little nervous about
455 this; 'for it might end, you know,' said Alice to herself, 'in my
456 going out altogether, like a candle. I wonder what I should be
457 like then?' And she tried to fancy what the flame of a candle is
458 like after the candle is blown out, for she could not remember
459 ever having seen such a thing.</p>
461 <p>After a while, finding that nothing more happened, she decided
462 on going into the garden at once; but, alas for poor Alice! when
463 she got to the door, she found she had forgotten the little
464 golden key, and when she went back to the table for it, she found
465 she could not possibly reach it: she could see it quite plainly
466 through the glass, and she tried her best to climb up one of the
467 legs of the table, but it was too slippery; and when she had
468 tired herself out with trying, the poor little thing sat down and
471 <p>'Come, there's no use in crying like that!' said Alice to
472 herself, rather sharply; 'I advise you to leave off this minute!'
473 She generally gave herself very good advice, (though she very
474 seldom followed it), and sometimes she scolded herself so
475 severely as to bring tears into her eyes; and once she remembered
476 trying to box her own ears for having cheated herself in a game
477 of croquet she was playing against herself, for this curious
478 child was very fond of pretending to be two people. 'But it's no
479 use now,' thought poor Alice, 'to pretend to be two people! Why,
480 there's hardly enough of me left to make <i>one</i> respectable
483 <p>Soon her eye fell on a little glass box that was lying under
484 the table: she opened it, and found in it a very small cake, on
485 which the words 'EAT ME' were beautifully marked in currants.
486 'Well, I'll eat it,' said Alice, 'and if it makes me grow larger,
487 I can reach the key; and if it makes me grow smaller, I can creep
488 under the door; so either way I'll get into the garden, and I
489 don't care which happens!'</p>
491 <p>She ate a little bit, and said anxiously to herself, 'Which
492 way? Which way?', holding her hand on the top of her head to feel
493 which way it was growing, and she was quite surprised to find
494 that she remained the same size: to be sure, this generally
495 happens when one eats cake, but Alice had got so much into the
496 way of expecting nothing but out-of-the-way things to happen,
497 that it seemed quite dull and stupid for life to go on in the
500 <p>So she set to work, and very soon finished off the cake.</p>
502 <p class="asterisks">
504 * * * * *
506 * * * *
508 * * * * *
513 <h3 align="Center">CHAPTER II</h3>
515 <h3 align="Center">The Pool of Tears</h3>
517 <p>'Curiouser and curiouser!' cried Alice (she was so much
518 surprised, that for the moment she quite forgot how to speak good
519 English); 'now I'm opening out like the largest telescope that
520 ever was! Good-bye, feet!' (for when she looked down at her feet,
521 they seemed to be almost out of sight, they were getting so far
522 off). 'Oh, my poor little feet, I wonder who will put on your
523 shoes and stockings for you now, dears? I'm sure <i>I</i> shan't
524 be able! I shall be a great deal too far off to trouble myself
525 about you: you must manage the best way you can; --but I must be
526 kind to them,' thought Alice, 'or perhaps they won't walk the way
527 I want to go! Let me see: I'll give them a new pair of boots
528 every Christmas.'</p>
530 <p>And she went on planning to herself how she would manage it.
531 'They must go by the carrier,' she thought; 'and how funny it'll
532 seem, sending presents to one's own feet! And how odd the
533 directions will look!</p>
535 <blockquote><i>ALICE'S RIGHT FOOT, ESQ.</i>
536 <p><i>HEARTHRUG,</i></p>
538 <p><i>NEAR THE FENDER,</i></p>
540 <p><i>(WITH ALICE'S LOVE).</i></p>
543 <p>Oh dear, what nonsense I'm talking!'</p>
545 <p>Just then her head struck against the roof of the hall: in
546 fact she was now more than nine feet high, and she at once took
547 up the little golden key and hurried off to the garden door.</p>
549 <p>Poor Alice! It was as much as she could do, lying down on one
550 side, to look through into the garden with one eye; but to get
551 through was more hopeless than ever: she sat down and began to
554 <p>'You ought to be ashamed of yourself,' said Alice, 'a great
555 girl like you,' (she might well say this), 'to go on crying in
556 this way! Stop this moment, I tell you!' But she went on all the
557 same, shedding gallons of tears, until there was a large pool all
558 round her, about four inches deep and reaching half down the
561 <p>After a time she heard a little pattering of feet in the
562 distance, and she hastily dried her eyes to see what was coming.
563 It was the White Rabbit returning, splendidly dressed, with a
564 pair of white kid gloves in one hand and a large fan in the
565 other: he came trotting along in a great hurry, muttering to
566 himself as he came, 'Oh! the Duchess, the Duchess! Oh!
567 <i>won't</i> she be savage if I've kept her waiting!' Alice felt
568 so desperate that she was ready to ask help of any one; so, when
569 the Rabbit came near her, she began, in a low, timid voice, 'If
570 you please, sir--' The Rabbit started violently, dropped the
571 white kid gloves and the fan, and skurried away into the darkness
572 as hard as he could go.</p>
574 <p>Alice took up the fan and gloves, and, as the hall was very
575 hot, she kept fanning herself all the time she went on talking:
576 'Dear, dear! How queer everything is to-day! And yesterday things
577 went on just as usual. I wonder if I've been changed in the
578 night? Let me think: <i>was</i> I the same when I got up this
579 morning? I almost think I can remember feeling a little
580 different. But if I'm not the same, the next question is, Who in
581 the world am I? Ah, <i>that's</i> the great puzzle!' And she
582 began thinking over all the children she knew that were of the
583 same age as herself, to see if she could have been changed for
586 <p>'I'm sure I'm not Ada,' she said, 'for her hair goes in such
587 long ringlets, and mine doesn't go in ringlets at all; and I'm
588 sure I can't be Mabel, for I know all sorts of things, and she,
589 oh! she knows such a very little! Besides, <i>she's</i> she, and
590 <i>I'm</i> I, and--oh dear, how puzzling it all is! I'll try if I
591 know all the things I used to know. Let me see: four times five
592 is twelve, and four times six is thirteen, and four times seven
593 is--oh dear! I shall never get to twenty at that rate! However,
594 the Multiplication Table doesn't signify: let's try Geography.
595 London is the capital of Paris, and Paris is the capital of Rome,
596 and Rome--no, <i>that's</i> all wrong, I'm certain! I must have
597 been changed for Mabel! I'll try and say "<i>How doth the
598 little--</i>"' and she crossed her hands on her lap as if she
599 were saying lessons, and began to repeat it, but her voice
600 sounded hoarse and strange, and the words did not come the same
601 as they used to do:--</p>
603 <blockquote><i>'How doth the little crocodile</i>
604 <p><i>Improve his shining tail,</i></p>
606 <p><i>And pour the waters of the Nile</i></p>
608 <p><i>On every golden scale!</i></p>
611 'How cheerfully he seems to grin,</i></p>
613 <p><i>How neatly spread his claws,</i></p>
615 <p><i>And welcome little fishes in</i></p>
617 <p><i>With gently smiling jaws!</i>'</p>
620 <p>'I'm sure those are not the right words,' said poor Alice, and
621 her eyes filled with tears again as she went on, 'I must be Mabel
622 after all, and I shall have to go and live in that poky little
623 house, and have next to no toys to play with, and oh! ever so
624 many lessons to learn! No, I've made up my mind about it; if I'm
625 Mabel, I'll stay down here! It'll be no use their putting their
626 heads down and saying "Come up again, dear!" I shall only look up
627 and say "Who am I then? Tell me that first, and then, if I like
628 being that person, I'll come up: if not, I'll stay down here till
629 I'm somebody else"--but, oh dear!' cried Alice, with a sudden
630 burst of tears, 'I do wish they <i>would</i> put their heads
631 down! I am so <i>very</i> tired of being all alone here!'</p>
633 <p>As she said this she looked down at her hands, and was
634 surprised to see that she had put on one of the Rabbit's little
635 white kid gloves while she was talking. 'How <i>can</i> I have
636 done that?' she thought. 'I must be growing small again.' She got
637 up and went to the table to measure herself by it, and found
638 that, as nearly as she could guess, she was now about two feet
639 high, and was going on shrinking rapidly: she soon found out that
640 the cause of this was the fan she was holding, and she dropped it
641 hastily, just in time to avoid shrinking away altogether.</p>
643 <p>'That <i>was</i> a narrow escape!' said Alice, a good deal
644 frightened at the sudden change, but very glad to find herself
645 still in existence; 'and now for the garden!' and she ran with
646 all speed back to the little door: but, alas! the little door was
647 shut again, and the little golden key was lying on the glass
648 table as before, 'and things are worse than ever,' thought the
649 poor child, 'for I never was so small as this before, never! And
650 I declare it's too bad, that it is!'</p>
652 <p>As she said these words her foot slipped, and in another
653 moment, splash! she was up to her chin in salt water. Her first
654 idea was that she had somehow fallen into the sea, 'and in that
655 case I can go back by railway,' she said to herself. (Alice had
656 been to the seaside once in her life, and had come to the general
657 conclusion, that wherever you go to on the English coast you find
658 a number of bathing machines in the sea, some children digging in
659 the sand with wooden spades, then a row of lodging houses, and
660 behind them a railway station.) However, she soon made out that
661 she was in the pool of tears which she had wept when she was nine
664 <p>'I wish I hadn't cried so much!' said Alice, as she swam
665 about, trying to find her way out. 'I shall be punished for it
666 now, I suppose, by being drowned in my own tears! That
667 <i>will</i> be a queer thing, to be sure! However, everything is
670 <p>Just then she heard something splashing about in the pool a
671 little way off, and she swam nearer to make out what it was: at
672 first she thought it must be a walrus or hippopotamus, but then
673 she remembered how small she was now, and she soon made out that
674 it was only a mouse that had slipped in like herself.</p>
676 <p>'Would it be of any use, now,' thought Alice, 'to speak to
677 this mouse? Everything is so out-of-the-way down here, that I
678 should think very likely it can talk: at any rate, there's no
679 harm in trying.' So she began: 'O Mouse, do you know the way out
680 of this pool? I am very tired of swimming about here, O Mouse!'
681 (Alice thought this must be the right way of speaking to a mouse:
682 she had never done such a thing before, but she remembered having
683 seen in her brother's Latin Grammar, 'A mouse--of a mouse--to a
684 mouse--a mouse--O mouse!') The Mouse looked at her rather
685 inquisitively, and seemed to her to wink with one of its little
686 eyes, but it said nothing.</p>
688 <p>'Perhaps it doesn't understand English,' thought Alice; 'I
689 daresay it's a French mouse, come over with William the
690 Conqueror.' (For, with all her knowledge of history, Alice had no
691 very clear notion how long ago anything had happened.) So she
692 began again: 'Ou est ma chatte?' which was the first sentence in
693 her French lesson-book. The Mouse gave a sudden leap out of the
694 water, and seemed to quiver all over with fright. 'Oh, I beg your
695 pardon!' cried Alice hastily, afraid that she had hurt the poor
696 animal's feelings. 'I quite forgot you didn't like cats.'</p>
698 <p>'Not like cats!' cried the Mouse, in a shrill, passionate
699 voice. 'Would <i>you</i> like cats if you were me?'</p>
701 <p>'Well, perhaps not,' said Alice in a soothing tone: 'don't be
702 angry about it. And yet I wish I could show you our cat Dinah: I
703 think you'd take a fancy to cats if you could only see her. She
704 is such a dear quiet thing,' Alice went on, half to herself, as
705 she swam lazily about in the pool, 'and she sits purring so
706 nicely by the fire, licking her paws and washing her face--and
707 she is such a nice soft thing to nurse--and she's such a capital
708 one for catching mice--oh, I beg your pardon!' cried Alice again,
709 for this time the Mouse was bristling all over, and she felt
710 certain it must be really offended. 'We won't talk about her any
711 more if you'd rather not.'</p>
713 <p>'We indeed!' cried the Mouse, who was trembling down to the
714 end of his tail. 'As if I would talk on such a subject! Our
715 family always <i>hated</i> cats: nasty, low, vulgar things! Don't
716 let me hear the name again!'</p>
718 <p>'I won't indeed!' said Alice, in a great hurry to change the
719 subject of conversation. 'Are you--are you fond--of--of dogs?'
720 The Mouse did not answer, so Alice went on eagerly: 'There is
721 such a nice little dog near our house I should like to show you!
722 A little bright-eyed terrier, you know, with oh, such long curly
723 brown hair! And it'll fetch things when you throw them, and it'll
724 sit up and beg for its dinner, and all sorts of things--I can't
725 remember half of them--and it belongs to a farmer, you know, and
726 he says it's so useful, it's worth a hundred pounds! He says it
727 kills all the rats and--oh dear!' cried Alice in a sorrowful
728 tone, 'I'm afraid I've offended it again!' For the Mouse was
729 swimming away from her as hard as it could go, and making quite a
730 commotion in the pool as it went.</p>
732 <p>So she called softly after it, 'Mouse dear! Do come back
733 again, and we won't talk about cats or dogs either, if you don't
734 like them!' When the Mouse heard this, it turned round and swam
735 slowly back to her: its face was quite pale (with passion, Alice
736 thought), and it said in a low trembling voice, 'Let us get to
737 the shore, and then I'll tell you my history, and you'll
738 understand why it is I hate cats and dogs.'</p>
740 <p>It was high time to go, for the pool was getting quite crowded
741 with the birds and animals that had fallen into it: there were a
742 Duck and a Dodo, a Lory and an Eaglet, and several other curious
743 creatures. Alice led the way, and the whole party swam to the
747 <h3 align="Center">CHAPTER III</h3>
749 <h3 align="Center">A Caucus-Race and a Long Tale</h3>
751 <p>They were indeed a queer-looking party that assembled on the
752 bank--the birds with draggled feathers, the animals with their
753 fur clinging close to them, and all dripping wet, cross, and
756 <p>The first question of course was, how to get dry again: they
757 had a consultation about this, and after a few minutes it seemed
758 quite natural to Alice to find herself talking familiarly with
759 them, as if she had known them all her life. Indeed, she had
760 quite a long argument with the Lory, who at last turned sulky,
761 and would only say, 'I am older than you, and must know better';
762 and this Alice would not allow without knowing how old it was,
763 and, as the Lory positively refused to tell its age, there was no
766 <p>At last the Mouse, who seemed to be a person of authority
767 among them, called out, 'Sit down, all of you, and listen to me!
768 <i>I'll</i> soon make you dry enough!' They all sat down at once,
769 in a large ring, with the Mouse in the middle. Alice kept her
770 eyes anxiously fixed on it, for she felt sure she would catch a
771 bad cold if she did not get dry very soon.</p>
773 <p>'Ahem!' said the Mouse with an important air, 'are you all
774 ready? This is the driest thing I know. Silence all round, if you
775 please! "William the Conqueror, whose cause was favoured by the
776 pope, was soon submitted to by the English, who wanted leaders,
777 and had been of late much accustomed to usurpation and conquest.
778 Edwin and Morcar, the earls of Mercia and Northumbria--"'</p>
780 <p>'Ugh!' said the Lory, with a shiver.</p>
782 <p>'I beg your pardon!' said the Mouse, frowning, but very
783 politely: 'Did you speak?'</p>
785 <p>'Not I!' said the Lory hastily.</p>
787 <p>'I thought you did,' said the Mouse. '--I proceed. "Edwin and
788 Morcar, the earls of Mercia and Northumbria, declared for him:
789 and even Stigand, the patriotic archbishop of Canterbury, found
792 <p>'Found <i>what</i>?' said the Duck.</p>
794 <p>'Found <i>it</i>,' the Mouse replied rather crossly: 'of
795 course you know what "it" means.'</p>
797 <p>'I know what "it" means well enough, when <i>I</i> find a
798 thing,' said the Duck: 'it's generally a frog or a worm. The
799 question is, what did the archbishop find?'</p>
801 <p>The Mouse did not notice this question, but hurriedly went on,
802 '"--found it advisable to go with Edgar Atheling to meet William
803 and offer him the crown. William's conduct at first was moderate.
804 But the insolence of his Normans--" How are you getting on now,
805 my dear?' it continued, turning to Alice as it spoke.</p>
807 <p>'As wet as ever,' said Alice in a melancholy tone: 'it doesn't
808 seem to dry me at all.'</p>
810 <p>'In that case,' said the Dodo solemnly, rising to its feet, 'I
811 move that the meeting adjourn, for the immediate adoption of more
812 energetic remedies--'</p>
814 <p>'Speak English!' said the Eaglet. 'I don't know the meaning of
815 half those long words, and, what's more, I don't believe you do
816 either!' And the Eaglet bent down its head to hide a smile: some
817 of the other birds tittered audibly.</p>
819 <p>'What I was going to say,' said the Dodo in an offended tone,
820 'was, that the best thing to get us dry would be a
823 <p>'What <i>is</i> a Caucus-race?' said Alice; not that she
824 wanted much to know, but the Dodo had paused as if it thought
825 that <i>somebody</i> ought to speak, and no one else seemed
826 inclined to say anything.</p>
828 <p>'Why,' said the Dodo, 'the best way to explain it is to do
829 it.' (And, as you might like to try the thing yourself, some
830 winter day, I will tell you how the Dodo managed it.)</p>
832 <p>First it marked out a race-course, in a sort of circle, ('the
833 exact shape doesn't matter,' it said,) and then all the party
834 were placed along the course, here and there. There was no 'One,
835 two, three, and away,' but they began running when they liked,
836 and left off when they liked, so that it was not easy to know
837 when the race was over. However, when they had been running half
838 an hour or so, and were quite dry again, the Dodo suddenly called
839 out 'The race is over!' and they all crowded round it, panting,
840 and asking, 'But who has won?'</p>
842 <p>This question the Dodo could not answer without a great deal
843 of thought, and it sat for a long time with one finger pressed
844 upon its forehead (the position in which you usually see
845 Shakespeare, in the pictures of him), while the rest waited in
846 silence. At last the Dodo said, '<i>everybody</i> has won, and
847 <i>all</i> must have prizes.'</p>
849 <p>'But who is to give the prizes?' quite a chorus of voices
852 <p>'Why, <i>she</i>, of course,' said the Dodo, pointing to Alice
853 with one finger; and the whole party at once crowded round her,
854 calling out in a confused way, 'Prizes! Prizes!'</p>
856 <p>Alice had no idea what to do, and in despair she put her hand
857 in her pocket, and pulled out a box of comfits, (luckily the salt
858 water had not got into it), and handed them round as prizes.
859 There was exactly one a-piece all round.</p>
861 <p>'But she must have a prize herself, you know,' said the
864 <p>'Of course,' the Dodo replied very gravely. 'What else have
865 you got in your pocket?' he went on, turning to Alice.</p>
867 <p>'Only a thimble,' said Alice sadly.</p>
869 <p>'Hand it over here,' said the Dodo.</p>
871 <p>Then they all crowded round her once more, while the Dodo
872 solemnly presented the thimble, saying 'We beg your acceptance of
873 this elegant thimble'; and, when it had finished this short
874 speech, they all cheered.</p>
876 <p>Alice thought the whole thing very absurd, but they all looked
877 so grave that she did not dare to laugh; and, as she could not
878 think of anything to say, she simply bowed, and took the thimble,
879 looking as solemn as she could.</p>
881 <p>The next thing was to eat the comfits: this caused some noise
882 and confusion, as the large birds complained that they could not
883 taste theirs, and the small ones choked and had to be patted on
884 the back. However, it was over at last, and they sat down again
885 in a ring, and begged the Mouse to tell them something more.</p>
887 <p>'You promised to tell me your history, you know,' said Alice,
888 'and why it is you hate--C and D,' she added in a whisper, half
889 afraid that it would be offended again.</p>
891 <p>'Mine is a long and a sad tale!' said the Mouse, turning to
892 Alice, and sighing.</p>
894 <p>'It <i>is</i> a long tail, certainly,' said Alice, looking down with
895 wonder at the Mouse's tail; 'but why do you call it sad?' And she
896 kept on puzzling about it while the Mouse was speaking, so that
897 her idea of the tale was something like this:--</p>
899 <p>'Fury said to a mouse, That he met in the house, "Let us both
900 go to law: I will prosecute <i>you</i>. --Come, I'll take no
901 denial; We must have a trial: For really this morning I've
902 nothing to do." Said the mouse to the cur, "Such a trial, dear
903 Sir, With no jury or judge, would be wasting our breath." "I'll be
904 judge, I'll be jury," said cunning old Fury: "I'll try the whole
905 cause, and condemn you to death."'</p>
907 <p>'You are not attending!' said the Mouse to Alice severely.
908 'What are you thinking of?'</p>
910 <p>'I beg your pardon,' said Alice very humbly: 'you had got to
911 the fifth bend, I think?'</p>
913 <p>'I had <i>not</i>!' cried the Mouse, sharply and very
916 <p>'A knot!' said Alice, always ready to make herself useful, and
917 looking anxiously about her. 'Oh, do let me help to undo it!'</p>
919 <p>'I shall do nothing of the sort,' said the Mouse, getting up
920 and walking away. 'You insult me by talking such nonsense!'</p>
922 <p>'I didn't mean it!' pleaded poor Alice. 'But you're so easily
923 offended, you know!'</p>
925 <p>The Mouse only growled in reply.</p>
927 <p>'Please come back and finish your story!' Alice called after
928 it; and the others all joined in chorus, 'Yes, please do!' but
929 the Mouse only shook its head impatiently, and walked a little
932 <p>'What a pity it wouldn't stay!' sighed the Lory, as soon as it
933 was quite out of sight; and an old Crab took the opportunity of
934 saying to her daughter 'Ah, my dear! Let this be a lesson to you
935 never to lose <i>your</i> temper!' 'Hold your tongue, Ma!' said
936 the young Crab, a little snappishly. 'You're enough to try the
937 patience of an oyster!'</p>
939 <p>'I wish I had our Dinah here, I know I do!' said Alice aloud,
940 addressing nobody in particular. 'She'd soon fetch it back!'</p>
942 <p>'And who is Dinah, if I might venture to ask the question?'
945 <p>Alice replied eagerly, for she was always ready to talk about
946 her pet: 'Dinah's our cat. And she's such a capital one for
947 catching mice you can't think! And oh, I wish you could see her
948 after the birds! Why, she'll eat a little bird as soon as look at
951 <p>This speech caused a remarkable sensation among the party.
952 Some of the birds hurried off at once: one old Magpie began
953 wrapping itself up very carefully, remarking, 'I really must be
954 getting home; the night-air doesn't suit my throat!' and a Canary
955 called out in a trembling voice to its children, 'Come away, my
956 dears! It's high time you were all in bed!' On various pretexts
957 they all moved off, and Alice was soon left alone.</p>
959 <p>'I wish I hadn't mentioned Dinah!' she said to herself in a
960 melancholy tone. 'Nobody seems to like her, down here, and I'm
961 sure she's the best cat in the world! Oh, my dear Dinah! I wonder
962 if I shall ever see you any more!' And here poor Alice began to
963 cry again, for she felt very lonely and low-spirited. In a little
964 while, however, she again heard a little pattering of footsteps
965 in the distance, and she looked up eagerly, half hoping that the
966 Mouse had changed his mind, and was coming back to finish his
970 <h3 align="Center">CHAPTER IV</h3>
972 <h3 align="Center">The Rabbit Sends in a Little Bill</h3>
974 <p>It was the White Rabbit, trotting slowly back again, and
975 looking anxiously about as it went, as if it had lost something;
976 and she heard it muttering to itself 'The Duchess! The Duchess!
977 Oh my dear paws! Oh my fur and whiskers! She'll get me executed,
978 as sure as ferrets are ferrets! Where <i>can</i> I have dropped
979 them, I wonder?' Alice guessed in a moment that it was looking
980 for the fan and the pair of white kid gloves, and she very
981 good-naturedly began hunting about for them, but they were
982 nowhere to be seen--everything seemed to have changed since her
983 swim in the pool, and the great hall, with the glass table and
984 the little door, had vanished completely.</p>
986 <p>Very soon the Rabbit noticed Alice, as she went hunting about,
987 and called out to her in an angry tone, 'Why, Mary Ann, what
988 <i>are</i> you doing out here? Run home this moment, and fetch me
989 a pair of gloves and a fan! Quick, now!' And Alice was so much
990 frightened that she ran off at once in the direction it pointed
991 to, without trying to explain the mistake it had made.</p>
993 <p>'He took me for his housemaid,' she said to herself as she
994 ran. 'How surprised he'll be when he finds out who I am! But I'd
995 better take him his fan and gloves--that is, if I can find them.'
996 As she said this, she came upon a neat little house, on the door
997 of which was a bright brass plate with the name 'W. RABBIT'
998 engraved upon it. She went in without knocking, and hurried
999 upstairs, in great fear lest she should meet the real Mary Ann,
1000 and be turned out of the house before she had found the fan and
1003 <p>'How queer it seems,' Alice said to herself, 'to be going
1004 messages for a rabbit! I suppose Dinah'll be sending me on
1005 messages next!' And she began fancying the sort of thing that
1006 would happen: '"Miss Alice! Come here directly, and get ready for
1007 your walk!" "Coming in a minute, nurse! But I've got to see that
1008 the mouse doesn't get out." Only I don't think,' Alice went on,
1009 'that they'd let Dinah stop in the house if it began ordering
1010 people about like that!'</p>
1012 <p>By this time she had found her way into a tidy little room
1013 with a table in the window, and on it (as she had hoped) a fan
1014 and two or three pairs of tiny white kid gloves: she took up the
1015 fan and a pair of the gloves, and was just going to leave the
1016 room, when her eye fell upon a little bottle that stood near the
1017 looking- glass. There was no label this time with the words
1018 'DRINK ME,' but nevertheless she uncorked it and put it to her
1019 lips. 'I know <i>something</i> interesting is sure to happen,'
1020 she said to herself, 'whenever I eat or drink anything; so I'll
1021 just see what this bottle does. I do hope it'll make me grow
1022 large again, for really I'm quite tired of being such a tiny
1025 <p>It did so indeed, and much sooner than she had expected:
1026 before she had drunk half the bottle, she found her head pressing
1027 against the ceiling, and had to stoop to save her neck from being
1028 broken. She hastily put down the bottle, saying to herself
1029 'That's quite enough--I hope I shan't grow any more--As it is, I
1030 can't get out at the door--I do wish I hadn't drunk quite so
1033 <p>Alas! it was too late to wish that! She went on growing, and
1034 growing, and very soon had to kneel down on the floor: in another
1035 minute there was not even room for this, and she tried the effect
1036 of lying down with one elbow against the door, and the other arm
1037 curled round her head. Still she went on growing, and, as a last
1038 resource, she put one arm out of the window, and one foot up the
1039 chimney, and said to herself 'Now I can do no more, whatever
1040 happens. What <i>will</i> become of me?'</p>
1042 <p>Luckily for Alice, the little magic bottle had now had its
1043 full effect, and she grew no larger: still it was very
1044 uncomfortable, and, as there seemed to be no sort of chance of
1045 her ever getting out of the room again, no wonder she felt
1048 <p>'It was much pleasanter at home,' thought poor Alice, 'when
1049 one wasn't always growing larger and smaller, and being ordered
1050 about by mice and rabbits. I almost wish I hadn't gone down that
1051 rabbit-hole--and yet--and yet--it's rather curious, you know,
1052 this sort of life! I do wonder what <i>can</i> have happened to
1053 me! When I used to read fairy-tales, I fancied that kind of thing
1054 never happened, and now here I am in the middle of one! There
1055 ought to be a book written about me, that there ought! And when I
1056 grow up, I'll write one--but I'm grown up now,' she added in a
1057 sorrowful tone; 'at least there's no room to grow up any more
1060 <p>'But then,' thought Alice, 'shall I <i>never</i> get any older
1061 than I am now? That'll be a comfort, one way--never to be an old
1062 woman-- but then--always to have lessons to learn! Oh, I
1063 shouldn't like <i>that</i>!'</p>
1065 <p>'Oh, you foolish Alice!' she answered herself. 'How can you
1066 learn lessons in here? Why, there's hardly room for you, and no
1067 room at all for any lesson-books!'</p>
1069 <p>And so she went on, taking first one side and then the other,
1070 and making quite a conversation of it altogether; but after a few
1071 minutes she heard a voice outside, and stopped to listen.</p>
1073 <p>'Mary Ann! Mary Ann!' said the voice. 'Fetch me my gloves this
1074 moment!' Then came a little pattering of feet on the stairs.
1075 Alice knew it was the Rabbit coming to look for her, and she
1076 trembled till she shook the house, quite forgetting that she was
1077 now about a thousand times as large as the Rabbit, and had no
1078 reason to be afraid of it.</p>
1080 <p>Presently the Rabbit came up to the door, and tried to open
1081 it; but, as the door opened inwards, and Alice's elbow was
1082 pressed hard against it, that attempt proved a failure. Alice
1083 heard it say to itself 'Then I'll go round and get in at the
1086 <p>'<i>That</i> you won't' thought Alice, and, after waiting till
1087 she fancied she heard the Rabbit just under the window, she
1088 suddenly spread out her hand, and made a snatch in the air. She
1089 did not get hold of anything, but she heard a little shriek and a
1090 fall, and a crash of broken glass, from which she concluded that
1091 it was just possible it had fallen into a cucumber-frame, or
1092 something of the sort.</p>
1094 <p>Next came an angry voice--the Rabbit's--'Pat! Pat! Where are
1095 you?' And then a voice she had never heard before, 'Sure then I'm
1096 here! Digging for apples, yer honour!'</p>
1098 <p>'Digging for apples, indeed!' said the Rabbit angrily. 'Here!
1099 Come and help me out of <i>this</i>!' (Sounds of more broken
1102 <p>'Now tell me, Pat, what's that in the window?'</p>
1104 <p>'Sure, it's an arm, yer honour!' (He pronounced it
1107 <p>'An arm, you goose! Who ever saw one that size? Why, it fills
1108 the whole window!'</p>
1110 <p>'Sure, it does, yer honour: but it's an arm for all that.'</p>
1112 <p>'Well, it's got no business there, at any rate: go and take it
1115 <p>There was a long silence after this, and Alice could only hear
1116 whispers now and then; such as, 'Sure, I don't like it, yer
1117 honour, at all, at all!' 'Do as I tell you, you coward!' and at
1118 last she spread out her hand again, and made another snatch in
1119 the air. This time there were <i>two</i> little shrieks, and more
1120 sounds of broken glass. 'What a number of cucumber-frames there
1121 must be!' thought Alice. 'I wonder what they'll do next! As for
1122 pulling me out of the window, I only wish they <i>could</i>! I'm
1123 sure I don't want to stay in here any longer!'</p>
1125 <p>She waited for some time without hearing anything more: at
1126 last came a rumbling of little cartwheels, and the sound of a
1127 good many voices all talking together: she made out the words:
1128 'Where's the other ladder?--Why, I hadn't to bring but one;
1129 Bill's got the other--Bill! fetch it here, lad!--Here, put 'em up
1130 at this corner--No, tie 'em together first--they don't reach half
1131 high enough yet--Oh! they'll do well enough; don't be
1132 particular-- Here, Bill! catch hold of this rope--Will the roof
1133 bear?--Mind that loose slate--Oh, it's coming down! Heads below!'
1134 (a loud crash)--'Now, who did that?--It was Bill, I fancy--Who's
1135 to go down the chimney?--Nay, I shan't! <i>you</i> do it!--That I
1136 won't, then!--Bill's to go down--Here, Bill! the master says
1137 you're to go down the chimney!'</p>
1139 <p>'Oh! So Bill's got to come down the chimney, has he?' said
1140 Alice to herself. 'Shy, they seem to put everything upon Bill! I
1141 wouldn't be in Bill's place for a good deal: this fireplace is
1142 narrow, to be sure; but I <i>think</i> I can kick a little!'</p>
1144 <p>She drew her foot as far down the chimney as she could, and
1145 waited till she heard a little animal (she couldn't guess of what
1146 sort it was) scratching and scrambling about in the chimney close
1147 above her: then, saying to herself 'This is Bill,' she gave one
1148 sharp kick, and waited to see what would happen next.</p>
1150 <p>The first thing she heard was a general chorus of 'There goes
1151 Bill!' then the Rabbit's voice along--'Catch him, you by the
1152 hedge!' then silence, and then another confusion of voices--'Hold
1153 up his head--Brandy now--Don't choke him--How was it, old fellow?
1154 What happened to you? Tell us all about it!'</p>
1156 <p>Last came a little feeble, squeaking voice, ('That's Bill,'
1157 thought Alice,) 'Well, I hardly know--No more, thank ye; I'm
1158 better now--but I'm a deal too flustered to tell you--all I know
1159 is, something comes at me like a Jack-in-the-box, and up I goes
1160 like a sky-rocket!'</p>
1162 <p>'So you did, old fellow!' said the others.</p>
1164 <p>'We must burn the house down!' said the Rabbit's voice; and
1165 Alice called out as loud as she could, 'If you do. I'll set Dinah
1168 <p>There was a dead silence instantly, and Alice thought to
1169 herself, 'I wonder what they <i>will</i> do next! If they had any
1170 sense, they'd take the roof off.' After a minute or two, they
1171 began moving about again, and Alice heard the Rabbit say, 'A
1172 barrowful will do, to begin with.'</p>
1174 <p>'A barrowful of <i>what</i>?' thought Alice; but she had not
1175 long to doubt, for the next moment a shower of little pebbles
1176 came rattling in at the window, and some of them hit her in the
1177 face. 'I'll put a stop to this,' she said to herself, and shouted
1178 out, 'You'd better not do that again!' which produced another
1181 <p>Alice noticed with some surprise that the pebbles were all
1182 turning into little cakes as they lay on the floor, and a bright
1183 idea came into her head. 'If I eat one of these cakes,' she
1184 thought, 'it's sure to make <i>some</i> change in my size; and as
1185 it can't possibly make me larger, it must make me smaller, I
1188 <p>So she swallowed one of the cakes, and was delighted to find
1189 that she began shrinking directly. As soon as she was small
1190 enough to get through the door, she ran out of the house, and
1191 found quite a crowd of little animals and birds waiting outside.
1192 The poor little Lizard, Bill, was in the middle, being held up by
1193 two guinea-pigs, who were giving it something out of a bottle.
1194 They all made a rush at Alice the moment she appeared; but she
1195 ran off as hard as she could, and soon found herself safe in a
1198 <p>'The first thing I've got to do,' said Alice to herself, as
1199 she wandered about in the wood, 'is to grow to my right size
1200 again; and the second thing is to find my way into that lovely
1201 garden. I think that will be the best plan.'</p>
1203 <p>It sounded an excellent plan, no doubt, and very neatly and
1204 simply arranged; the only difficulty was, that she had not the
1205 smallest idea how to set about it; and while she was peering
1206 about anxiously among the trees, a little sharp bark just over
1207 her head made her look up in a great hurry.</p>
1209 <p>An enormous puppy was looking down at her with large round
1210 eyes, and feebly stretching out one paw, trying to touch her.
1211 'Poor little thing!' said Alice, in a coaxing tone, and she tried
1212 hard to whistle to it; but she was terribly frightened all the
1213 time at the thought that it might be hungry, in which case it
1214 would be very likely to eat her up in spite of all her
1217 <p>Hardly knowing what she did, she picked up a little bit of
1218 stick, and held it out to the puppy; whereupon the puppy jumped
1219 into the air off all its feet at once, with a yelp of delight,
1220 and rushed at the stick, and made believe to worry it; then Alice
1221 dodged behind a great thistle, to keep herself from being run
1222 over; and the moment she appeared on the other side, the puppy
1223 made another rush at the stick, and tumbled head over heels in
1224 its hurry to get hold of it; then Alice, thinking it was very
1225 like having a game of play with a cart-horse, and expecting every
1226 moment to be trampled under its feet, ran round the thistle
1227 again; then the puppy began a series of short charges at the
1228 stick, running a very little way forwards each time and a long
1229 way back, and barking hoarsely all the while, till at last it sat
1230 down a good way off, panting, with its tongue hanging out of its
1231 mouth, and its great eyes half shut.</p>
1233 <p>This seemed to Alice a good opportunity for making her escape;
1234 so she set off at once, and ran till she was quite tired and out
1235 of breath, and till the puppy's bark sounded quite faint in the
1238 <p>'And yet what a dear little puppy it was!' said Alice, as she
1239 leant against a buttercup to rest herself, and fanned herself
1240 with one of the leaves: 'I should have liked teaching it tricks
1241 very much, if--if I'd only been the right size to do it! Oh dear!
1242 I'd nearly forgotten that I've got to grow up again! Let me
1243 see--how <i>is</i> it to be managed? I suppose I ought to eat or drink
1244 something or other; but the great question is, what?'</p>
1246 <p>The great question certainly was, what? Alice looked all round
1247 her at the flowers and the blades of grass, but she did not see
1248 anything that looked like the right thing to eat or drink under
1249 the circumstances. There was a large mushroom growing near her,
1250 about the same height as herself; and when she had looked under
1251 it, and on both sides of it, and behind it, it occurred to her
1252 that she might as well look and see what was on the top of
1255 <p>She stretched herself up on tiptoe, and peeped over the edge
1256 of the mushroom, and her eyes immediately met those of a large
1257 caterpillar, that was sitting on the top with its arms folded,
1258 quietly smoking a long hookah, and taking not the smallest notice
1259 of her or of anything else.</p>
1262 <h3 align="Center">CHAPTER V</h3>
1264 <h3 align="Center">Advice from a Caterpillar</h3>
1266 <p>The Caterpillar and Alice looked at each other for some time
1267 in silence: at last the Caterpillar took the hookah out of its
1268 mouth, and addressed her in a languid, sleepy voice.</p>
1270 <p>'Who are <i>you</i>?' said the Caterpillar.</p>
1272 <p>This was not an encouraging opening for a conversation. Alice
1273 replied, rather shyly, 'I--I hardly know, sir, just at present--
1274 at least I know who I <i>was</i> when I got up this morning, but I think
1275 I must have been changed several times since then.'</p>
1277 <p>'What do you mean by that?' said the Caterpillar sternly.
1278 'Explain yourself!'</p>
1280 <p>'I can't explain <i>myself</i>, I'm afraid, sir' said Alice,
1281 'because I'm not myself, you see.'</p>
1283 <p>'I don't see,' said the Caterpillar.</p>
1285 <p>'I'm afraid I can't put it more clearly,' Alice replied very
1286 politely, 'for I can't understand it myself to begin with; and
1287 being so many different sizes in a day is very confusing.'</p>
1289 <p>'It isn't,' said the Caterpillar.</p>
1291 <p>'Well, perhaps you haven't found it so yet,' said Alice; 'but
1292 when you have to turn into a chrysalis--you will some day, you
1293 know--and then after that into a butterfly, I should think you'll
1294 feel it a little queer, won't you?'</p>
1296 <p>'Not a bit,' said the Caterpillar.</p>
1298 <p>'Well, perhaps your feelings may be different,' said Alice;
1299 'all I know is, it would feel very queer to <i>me</i>.'</p>
1301 <p>'You!' said the Caterpillar contemptuously. 'Who are
1304 <p>Which brought them back again to the beginning of the
1305 conversation. Alice felt a little irritated at the Caterpillar's
1306 making such <i>very</i> short remarks, and she drew herself up
1307 and said, very gravely, 'I think, you ought to tell me who
1308 <i>you</i> are, first.'</p>
1310 <p>'Why?' said the Caterpillar.</p>
1312 <p>Here was another puzzling question; and as Alice could not
1313 think of any good reason, and as the Caterpillar seemed to be in
1314 a <i>very</i> unpleasant state of mind, she turned away.</p>
1316 <p>'Come back!' the Caterpillar called after her. 'I've something
1317 important to say!'</p>
1319 <p>This sounded promising, certainly: Alice turned and came back
1322 <p>'Keep your temper,' said the Caterpillar.</p>
1324 <p>'Is that all?' said Alice, swallowing down her anger as well
1327 <p>'No,' said the Caterpillar.</p>
1329 <p>Alice thought she might as well wait, as she had nothing else
1330 to do, and perhaps after all it might tell her something worth
1331 hearing. For some minutes it puffed away without speaking, but at
1332 last it unfolded its arms, took the hookah out of its mouth
1333 again, and said, 'So you think you're changed, do you?'</p>
1335 <p>'I'm afraid I am, sir,' said Alice; 'I can't remember things
1336 as I used--and I don't keep the same size for ten minutes
1339 <p>'Can't remember <i>what</i> things?' said the Caterpillar.</p>
1341 <p>'Well, I've tried to say "<i>How doth the little busy
1342 bee,</i>" but it all came different!' Alice replied in a very
1343 melancholy voice.</p>
1345 <p>'Repeat, "<i>you are old, Father William,</i>"' said the
1348 <p>Alice folded her hands, and began:--</p>
1350 <p><i>'You are old, Father William,' the young man said, 'And
1351 your hair has become very white; And yet you incessantly stand on
1352 your head-- Do you think, at your age, it is right?'</i></p>
1354 <p><i>'In my youth,' Father William replied to his son, 'I feared
1355 it might injure the brain; But, now that I'm perfectly sure I
1356 have none, Why, I do it again and again.'</i></p>
1358 <p><i>'You are old,' said the youth, 'as I mentioned before, And
1359 have grown most uncommonly fat; Yet you turned a back-somersault
1360 in at the door-- Pray, what is the reason of that?'</i></p>
1362 <p><i>'In my youth,' said the sage, as he shook his grey locks,
1363 'I kept all my limbs very supple By the use of this ointment--one
1364 shilling the box-- Allow me to sell you a couple?'</i></p>
1366 <p><i>'You are old,' said the youth, 'and your jaws are too weak
1367 For anything tougher than suet; Yet you finished the goose, with
1368 the bones and the beak-- Pray how did you manage to do
1371 <p><i>'In my youth,' said his father, 'I took to the law, And
1372 argued each case with my wife; And the muscular strength, which
1373 it gave to my jaw, Has lasted the rest of my life.'</i></p>
1375 <p><i>'You are old,' said the youth, 'one would hardly suppose
1376 That your eye was as steady as ever; Yet you balanced an eel on
1377 the end of your nose-- What made you so awfully clever?'</i></p>
1379 <p><i>'I have answered three questions, and that is enough,' Said
1380 his father; 'don't give yourself airs! Do you think I can listen
1381 all day to such stuff? Be off, or I'll kick you down
1384 <p>'That is not said right,' said the Caterpillar.</p>
1386 <p>'Not <i>quite</i> right, I'm afraid,' said Alice, timidly;
1387 'some of the words have got altered.'</p>
1389 <p>'It is wrong from beginning to end,' said the Caterpillar
1390 decidedly, and there was silence for some minutes.</p>
1392 <p>The Caterpillar was the first to speak.</p>
1394 <p>'What size do you want to be?' it asked.</p>
1396 <p>'Oh, I'm not particular as to size,' Alice hastily replied;
1397 'only one doesn't like changing so often, you know.'</p>
1399 <p>'I <i>don't</i> know,' said the Caterpillar.</p>
1401 <p>Alice said nothing: she had never been so much contradicted in
1402 her life before, and she felt that she was losing her temper.</p>
1404 <p>'Are you content now?' said the Caterpillar.</p>
1406 <p>'Well, I should like to be a <i>little</i> larger, sir, if you
1407 wouldn't mind,' said Alice: 'three inches is such a wretched
1410 <p>'It is a very good height indeed!' said the Caterpillar
1411 angrily, rearing itself upright as it spoke (it was exactly three
1414 <p>'But I'm not used to it!' pleaded poor Alice in a piteous
1415 tone. And she thought of herself, 'I wish the creatures wouldn't
1416 be so easily offended!'</p>
1418 <p>'You'll get used to it in time,' said the Caterpillar; and it
1419 put the hookah into its mouth and began smoking again.</p>
1421 <p>This time Alice waited patiently until it chose to speak
1422 again. In a minute or two the Caterpillar took the hookah out of
1423 its mouth and yawned once or twice, and shook itself. Then it got
1424 down off the mushroom, and crawled away in the grass, merely
1425 remarking as it went, 'One side will make you grow taller, and
1426 the other side will make you grow shorter.'</p>
1428 <p>'One side of <i>what</i>? The other side of <i>what</i>?'
1429 thought Alice to herself.</p>
1431 <p>'Of the mushroom,' said the Caterpillar, just as if she had
1432 asked it aloud; and in another moment it was out of sight.</p>
1434 <p>Alice remained looking thoughtfully at the mushroom for a
1435 minute, trying to make out which were the two sides of it; and as
1436 it was perfectly round, she found this a very difficult question.
1437 However, at last she stretched her arms round it as far as they
1438 would go, and broke off a bit of the edge with each hand.</p>
1440 <p>'And now which is which?' she said to herself, and nibbled a
1441 little of the right-hand bit to try the effect: the next moment
1442 she felt a violent blow underneath her chin: it had struck her
1445 <p>She was a good deal frightened by this very sudden change, but
1446 she felt that there was no time to be lost, as she was shrinking
1447 rapidly; so she set to work at once to eat some of the other bit.
1448 Her chin was pressed so closely against her foot, that there was
1449 hardly room to open her mouth; but she did it at last, and
1450 managed to swallow a morsel of the lefthand bit.</p>
1452 <p align="Center">* * * * *</p>
1454 <p>'Come, my head's free at last!' said Alice in a tone of
1455 delight, which changed into alarm in another moment, when she
1456 found that her shoulders were nowhere to be found: all she could
1457 see, when she looked down, was an immense length of neck, which
1458 seemed to rise like a stalk out of a sea of green leaves that lay
1461 <p>'What <i>can</i> all that green stuff be?' said Alice. 'And
1462 where <i>have</i> my shoulders got to? And oh, my poor hands, how
1463 is it I can't see you?' She was moving them about as she spoke,
1464 but no result seemed to follow, except a little shaking among the
1465 distant green leaves.</p>
1467 <p>As there seemed to be no chance of getting her hands up to her
1468 head, she tried to get her head down to them, and was delighted
1469 to find that her neck would bend about easily in any direction,
1470 like a serpent. She had just succeeded in curving it down into a
1471 graceful zigzag, and was going to dive in among the leaves, which
1472 she found to be nothing but the tops of the trees under which she
1473 had been wandering, when a sharp hiss made her draw back in a
1474 hurry: a large pigeon had flown into her face, and was beating
1475 her violently with its wings.</p>
1477 <p>'Serpent!' screamed the Pigeon.</p>
1479 <p>'I'm <i>not</i> a serpent!' said Alice indignantly. 'Let me
1482 <p>'Serpent, I say again!' repeated the Pigeon, but in a more
1483 subdued tone, and added with a kind of sob, 'I've tried every
1484 way, and nothing seems to suit them!'</p>
1486 <p>'I haven't the least idea what you're talking about,' said
1489 <p>'I've tried the roots of trees, and I've tried banks, and I've
1490 tried hedges,' the Pigeon went on, without attending to her; 'but
1491 those serpents! There's no pleasing them!'</p>
1493 <p>Alice was more and more puzzled, but she thought there was no
1494 use in saying anything more till the Pigeon had finished.</p>
1496 <p>'As if it wasn't trouble enough hatching the eggs,' said the
1497 Pigeon; 'but I must be on the look-out for serpents night and
1498 day! Why, I haven't had a wink of sleep these three weeks!'</p>
1500 <p>'I'm very sorry you've been annoyed,' said Alice, who was
1501 beginning to see its meaning.</p>
1503 <p>'And just as I'd taken the highest tree in the wood,'
1504 continued the Pigeon, raising its voice to a shriek, 'and just as
1505 I was thinking I should be free of them at last, they must needs
1506 come wriggling down from the sky! Ugh, Serpent!'</p>
1508 <p>'But I'm <i>not</i> a serpent, I tell you!' said Alice. 'I'm
1511 <p>'Well! <i>what</i> are you?' said the Pigeon. 'I can see
1512 you're trying to invent something!'</p>
1514 <p>'I--I'm a little girl,' said Alice, rather doubtfully, as she
1515 remembered the number of changes she had gone through that
1518 <p>'A likely story indeed!' said the Pigeon in a tone of the
1519 deepest contempt. 'I've seen a good many little girls in my time,
1520 but never <i>one</i> with such a neck as that! No, no! You're a
1521 serpent; and there's no use denying it. I suppose you'll be
1522 telling me next that you never tasted an egg!'</p>
1524 <p>'I <i>have</i> tasted eggs, certainly,' said Alice, who was a
1525 very truthful child; 'but little girls eat eggs quite as much as
1526 serpents do, you know.'</p>
1528 <p>'I don't believe it,' said the Pigeon; 'but if they do, why
1529 then they're a kind of serpent, that's all I can say.'</p>
1531 <p>This was such a new idea to Alice, that she was quite silent
1532 for a minute or two, which gave the Pigeon the opportunity of
1533 adding, 'You're looking for eggs, I know <i>that</i> well enough;
1534 and what does it matter to me whether you're a little girl or a
1537 <p>'It matters a good deal to <i>me</i>,' said Alice hastily;
1538 'but I'm not looking for eggs, as it happens; and if I was, I
1539 shouldn't want <i>yours</i>: I don't like them raw.'</p>
1541 <p>'Well, be off, then!' said the Pigeon in a sulky tone, as it
1542 settled down again into its nest. Alice crouched down among the
1543 trees as well as she could, for her neck kept getting entangled
1544 among the branches, and every now and then she had to stop and
1545 untwist it. After a while she remembered that she still held the
1546 pieces of mushroom in her hands, and she set to work very
1547 carefully, nibbling first at one and then at the other, and
1548 growing sometimes taller and sometimes shorter, until she had
1549 succeeded in bringing herself down to her usual height.</p>
1551 <p>It was so long since she had been anything near the right
1552 size, that it felt quite strange at first; but she got used to it
1553 in a few minutes, and began talking to herself, as usual. 'Come,
1554 there's half my plan done now! How puzzling all these changes
1555 are! I'm never sure what I'm going to be, from one minute to
1556 another! However, I've got back to my right size: the next thing
1557 is, to get into that beautiful garden--how <i>is</i> that to be
1558 done, I wonder?' As she said this, she came suddenly upon an open
1559 place, with a little house in it about four feet high. 'Whoever
1560 lives there,' thought Alice, 'it'll never do to come upon them
1561 <i>this</i> size: why, I should frighten them out of their wits!'
1562 So she began nibbling at the righthand bit again, and did not
1563 venture to go near the house till she had brought herself down to
1564 nine inches high.</p>
1567 <h3 align="Center">CHAPTER VI</h3>
1569 <h3 align="Center">Pig and Pepper</h3>
1571 <p>For a minute or two she stood looking at the house, and
1572 wondering what to do next, when suddenly a footman in livery came
1573 running out of the wood--(she considered him to be a footman
1574 because he was in livery: otherwise, judging by his face only,
1575 she would have called him a fish)--and rapped loudly at the door
1576 with his knuckles. It was opened by another footman in livery,
1577 with a round face, and large eyes like a frog; and both footmen,
1578 Alice noticed, had powdered hair that curled all over their
1579 heads. She felt very curious to know what it was all about, and
1580 crept a little way out of the wood to listen.</p>
1582 <p>The Fish-Footman began by producing from under his arm a great
1583 letter, nearly as large as himself, and this he handed over to
1584 the other, saying, in a solemn tone, 'For the Duchess. An
1585 invitation from the Queen to play croquet.' The Frog-Footman
1586 repeated, in the same solemn tone, only changing the order of the
1587 words a little, 'From the Queen. An invitation for the Duchess to
1590 <p>Then they both bowed low, and their curls got entangled
1593 <p>Alice laughed so much at this, that she had to run back into
1594 the wood for fear of their hearing her; and when she next peeped
1595 out the Fish-Footman was gone, and the other was sitting on the
1596 ground near the door, staring stupidly up into the sky.</p>
1598 <p>Alice went timidly up to the door, and knocked.</p>
1600 <p>'There's no sort of use in knocking,' said the Footman, 'and
1601 that for two reasons. First, because I'm on the same side of the
1602 door as you are; secondly, because they're making such a noise
1603 inside, no one could possibly hear you.' And certainly there was
1604 a most extraordinary noise going on within--a constant howling
1605 and sneezing, and every now and then a great crash, as if a dish
1606 or kettle had been broken to pieces.</p>
1608 <p>'Please, then,' said Alice, 'how am I to get in?'</p>
1610 <p>'There might be some sense in your knocking,' the Footman went
1611 on without attending to her, 'if we had the door between us. For
1612 instance, if you were <i>inside</i>, you might knock, and I could
1613 let you out, you know.' He was looking up into the sky all the
1614 time he was speaking, and this Alice thought decidedly uncivil.
1615 'But perhaps he can't help it,' she said to herself; 'his eyes
1616 are so <i>very</i> nearly at the top of his head. But at any rate
1617 he might answer questions.--How am I to get in?' she repeated,
1620 <p>'I shall sit here,' the Footman remarked, 'till
1623 <p>At this moment the door of the house opened, and a large plate
1624 came skimming out, straight at the Footman's head: it just grazed
1625 his nose, and broke to pieces against one of the trees behind
1628 <p>'--or next day, maybe,' the Footman continued in the same
1629 tone, exactly as if nothing had happened.</p>
1631 <p>'How am I to get in?' asked Alice again, in a louder tone.</p>
1633 <p>'<i>Are</i> you to get in at all?' said the Footman. 'That's
1634 the first question, you know.'</p>
1636 <p>It was, no doubt: only Alice did not like to be told so. 'It's
1637 really dreadful,' she muttered to herself, 'the way all the
1638 creatures argue. It's enough to drive one crazy!'</p>
1640 <p>The Footman seemed to think this a good opportunity for
1641 repeating his remark, with variations. 'I shall sit here,' he
1642 said, 'on and off, for days and days.'</p>
1644 <p>'But what am I to do?' said Alice.</p>
1646 <p>'Anything you like,' said the Footman, and began
1649 <p>'Oh, there's no use in talking to him,' said Alice
1650 desperately: 'he's perfectly idiotic!' And she opened the door
1653 <p>The door led right into a large kitchen, which was full of
1654 smoke from one end to the other: the Duchess was sitting on a
1655 three-legged stool in the middle, nursing a baby; the cook was
1656 leaning over the fire, stirring a large cauldron which seemed to
1657 be full of soup.</p>
1659 <p>'There's certainly too much pepper in that soup!' Alice said
1660 to herself, as well as she could for sneezing.</p>
1662 <p>There was certainly too much of it in the air. Even the
1663 Duchess sneezed occasionally; and as for the baby, it was
1664 sneezing and howling alternately without a moment's pause. The
1665 only things in the kitchen that did not sneeze, were the cook,
1666 and a large cat which was sitting on the hearth and grinning from
1669 <p>'Please would you tell me,' said Alice, a little timidly, for
1670 she was not quite sure whether it was good manners for her to
1671 speak first, 'why your cat grins like that?'</p>
1673 <p>'It's a Cheshire cat,' said the Duchess, 'and that's why.
1676 <p>She said the last word with such sudden violence that Alice
1677 quite jumped; but she saw in another moment that it was addressed
1678 to the baby, and not to her, so she took courage, and went on
1681 <p>'I didn't know that Cheshire cats always grinned; in fact, I
1682 didn't know that cats <i>could</i> grin.'</p>
1684 <p>'They all can,' said the Duchess; 'and most of 'em do.'</p>
1686 <p>'I don't know of any that do,' Alice said very politely,
1687 feeling quite pleased to have got into a conversation.</p>
1689 <p>'You don't know much,' said the Duchess; 'and that's a
1692 <p>Alice did not at all like the tone of this remark, and thought
1693 it would be as well to introduce some other subject of
1694 conversation. While she was trying to fix on one, the cook took
1695 the cauldron of soup off the fire, and at once set to work
1696 throwing everything within her reach at the Duchess and the baby
1697 --the fire-irons came first; then followed a shower of saucepans,
1698 plates, and dishes. The Duchess took no notice of them even when
1699 they hit her; and the baby was howling so much already, that it
1700 was quite impossible to say whether the blows hurt it or not.</p>
1702 <p>'Oh, <i>please</i> mind what you're doing!' cried Alice,
1703 jumping up and down in an agony of terror. 'Oh, there goes his
1704 <i>precious</i> nose'; as an unusually large saucepan flew close
1705 by it, and very nearly carried it off.</p>
1707 <p>'If everybody minded their own business,' the Duchess said in
1708 a hoarse growl, 'the world would go round a deal faster than it
1711 <p>'Which would <i>not</i> be an advantage,' said Alice, who felt
1712 very glad to get an opportunity of showing off a little of her
1713 knowledge. 'Just think of what work it would make with the day
1714 and night! You see the earth takes twenty-four hours to turn
1715 round on its axis--'</p>
1717 <p>'Talking of axes,' said the Duchess, 'chop off her head!'</p>
1719 <p>Alice glanced rather anxiously at the cook, to see if she
1720 meant to take the hint; but the cook was busily stirring the
1721 soup, and seemed not to be listening, so she went on again:
1722 'Twenty-four hours, I <i>think</i>; or is it twelve? I--'</p>
1724 <p>'Oh, don't bother <i>me</i>,' said the Duchess; 'I never could abide
1725 figures!' And with that she began nursing her child again,
1726 singing a sort of lullaby to it as she did so, and giving it a
1727 violent shake at the end of every line:</p>
1729 <p align="Center"><i>'Speak roughly to your little boy,</i></p>
1731 <p align="Center"><i>And beat him when he sneezes:</i></p>
1733 <p align="Center"><i>He only does it to annoy,</i></p>
1735 <p align="Center"><i>Because he knows it teases.'</i></p>
1737 <p align="Center">CHORUS</p>
1739 <p>(In which the cook and the baby joined):--</p>
1741 <p align="Center">'Wow! wow! wow!'</p>
1743 <p>While the Duchess sang the second verse of the song, she kept
1744 tossing the baby violently up and down, and the poor little thing
1745 howled so, that Alice could hardly hear the words:--</p>
1747 <p align="Center"><i>'I speak severely to my boy,</i></p>
1749 <p align="Center"><i>I beat him when he sneezes;</i></p>
1751 <p align="Center"><i>For he can thoroughly enjoy</i></p>
1753 <p align="Center"><i>The pepper when he pleases!'</i></p>
1755 <p align="Center">CHORUS</p>
1757 <p align="Center">'Wow! wow! wow!'</p>
1759 <p>'Here! you may nurse it a bit, if you like!' the Duchess said
1760 to Alice, flinging the baby at her as she spoke. 'I must go and
1761 get ready to play croquet with the Queen,' and she hurried out of
1762 the room. The cook threw a frying-pan after her as she went out,
1763 but it just missed her.</p>
1765 <p>Alice caught the baby with some difficulty, as it was a queer-
1766 shaped little creature, and held out its arms and legs in all
1767 directions, 'just like a star-fish,' thought Alice. The poor
1768 little thing was snorting like a steam-engine when she caught it,
1769 and kept doubling itself up and straightening itself out again,
1770 so that altogether, for the first minute or two, it was as much
1771 as she could do to hold it.</p>
1773 <p>As soon as she had made out the proper way of nursing it,
1774 (which was to twist it up into a sort of knot, and then keep
1775 tight hold of its right ear and left foot, so as to prevent its
1776 undoing itself,) she carried it out into the open air. '<i>If</i>
1777 I don't take this child away with me,' thought Alice, 'they're
1778 sure to kill it in a day or two: wouldn't it be murder to leave
1779 it behind?' She said the last words out loud, and the little
1780 thing grunted in reply (it had left off sneezing by this time).
1781 'Don't grunt,' said Alice; 'that's not at all a proper way of
1782 expressing yourself.'</p>
1784 <p>The baby grunted again, and Alice looked very anxiously into
1785 its face to see what was the matter with it. There could be no
1786 doubt that it had a <i>very</i> turn-up nose, much more like a
1787 snout than a real nose; also its eyes were getting extremely
1788 small for a baby: altogether Alice did not like the look of the
1789 thing at all. 'But perhaps it was only sobbing,' she thought, and
1790 looked into its eyes again, to see if there were any tears.</p>
1792 <p>No, there were no tears. 'If you're going to turn into a pig,
1793 my dear,' said Alice, seriously, 'I'll have nothing more to do
1794 with you. Mind now!' The poor little thing sobbed again (or
1795 grunted, it was impossible to say which), and they went on for
1796 some while in silence.</p>
1798 <p>Alice was just beginning to think to herself, 'Now, what am I
1799 to do with this creature when I get it home?' when it grunted
1800 again, so violently, that she looked down into its face in some
1801 alarm. This time there could be <i>no</i> mistake about it: it
1802 was neither more nor less than a pig, and she felt that it would
1803 be quite absurd for her to carry it further.</p>
1805 <p>So she set the little creature down, and felt quite relieved
1806 to see it trot away quietly into the wood. 'If it had grown up,'
1807 she said to herself, 'it would have made a dreadfully ugly child:
1808 but it makes rather a handsome pig, I think.' And she began
1809 thinking over other children she knew, who might do very well as
1810 pigs, and was just saying to herself, 'if one only knew the right
1811 way to change them--' when she was a little startled by seeing
1812 the Cheshire Cat sitting on a bough of a tree a few yards
1815 <p>The Cat only grinned when it saw Alice. It looked good-
1816 natured, she thought: still it had <i>very</i> long claws and a
1817 great many teeth, so she felt that it ought to be treated with
1820 <p>'Cheshire Puss,' she began, rather timidly, as she did not at
1821 all know whether it would like the name: however, it only grinned
1822 a little wider. 'Come, it's pleased so far,' thought Alice, and
1823 she went on. 'Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go
1826 <p>'That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,' said
1829 <p>'I don't much care where--' said Alice.</p>
1831 <p>'Then it doesn't matter which way you go,' said the Cat.</p>
1833 <p>'--so long as I get <i>somewhere</i>,' Alice added as an
1836 <p>'Oh, you're sure to do that,' said the Cat, 'if you only walk
1839 <p>Alice felt that this could not be denied, so she tried another
1840 question. 'What sort of people live about here?'</p>
1842 <p>'In <i>that</i> direction,' the Cat said, waving its right paw
1843 round, 'lives a Hatter: and in <i>that</i> direction,' waving the
1844 other paw, 'lives a March Hare. Visit either you like: they're
1847 <p>'But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked.</p>
1849 <p>'Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: 'we're all mad here.
1850 I'm mad. You're mad.'</p>
1852 <p>'How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice.</p>
1854 <p>'You must be,' said the Cat, 'or you wouldn't have come
1857 <p>Alice didn't think that proved it at all; however, she went on
1858 'And how do you know that you're mad?'</p>
1860 <p>'To begin with,' said the Cat, 'a dog's not mad. You grant
1863 <p>'I suppose so,' said Alice.</p>
1865 <p>'Well, then,' the Cat went on, 'you see, a dog growls when
1866 it's angry, and wags its tail when it's pleased. Now I growl when
1867 I'm pleased, and wag my tail when I'm angry. Therefore I'm
1870 <p>'I call it purring, not growling,' said Alice.</p>
1872 <p>'Call it what you like,' said the Cat. 'Do you play croquet
1873 with the Queen to-day?'</p>
1875 <p>'I should like it very much,' said Alice, 'but I haven't been
1878 <p>'You'll see me there,' said the Cat, and vanished.</p>
1880 <p>Alice was not much surprised at this, she was getting so used
1881 to queer things happening. While she was looking at the place
1882 where it had been, it suddenly appeared again.</p>
1884 <p>'By-the-bye, what became of the baby?' said the Cat. 'I'd
1885 nearly forgotten to ask.'</p>
1887 <p>'It turned into a pig,' Alice quietly said, just as if it had
1888 come back in a natural way.</p>
1890 <p>'I thought it would,' said the Cat, and vanished again.</p>
1892 <p>Alice waited a little, half expecting to see it again, but it
1893 did not appear, and after a minute or two she walked on in the
1894 direction in which the March Hare was said to live. 'I've seen
1895 hatters before,' she said to herself; 'the March Hare will be
1896 much the most interesting, and perhaps as this is May it won't be
1897 raving mad--at least not so mad as it was in March.' As she said
1898 this, she looked up, and there was the Cat again, sitting on a
1899 branch of a tree.</p>
1901 <p>'Did you say pig, or fig?' said the Cat.</p>
1903 <p>'I said pig,' replied Alice; 'and I wish you wouldn't keep
1904 appearing and vanishing so suddenly: you make one quite
1907 <p>'All right,' said the Cat; and this time it vanished quite
1908 slowly, beginning with the end of the tail, and ending with the
1909 grin, which remained some time after the rest of it had gone.</p>
1911 <p>'Well! I've often seen a cat without a grin,' thought Alice;
1912 'but a grin without a cat! It's the most curious thing I ever saw
1915 <p>She had not gone much farther before she came in sight of the
1916 house of the March Hare: she thought it must be the right house,
1917 because the chimneys were shaped like ears and the roof was
1918 thatched with fur. It was so large a house, that she did not like
1919 to go nearer till she had nibbled some more of the lefthand bit
1920 of mushroom, and raised herself to about two feet high: even then
1921 she walked up towards it rather timidly, saying to herself
1922 'Suppose it should be raving mad after all! I almost wish I'd
1923 gone to see the Hatter instead!'</p>
1926 <h3 align="Center">CHAPTER VII</h3>
1928 <h3 align="Center">A Mad Tea-Party</h3>
1930 <p>There was a table set out under a tree in front of the house,
1931 and the March Hare and the Hatter were having tea at it: a
1932 Dormouse was sitting between them, fast asleep, and the other two
1933 were using it as a cushion, resting their elbows on it, and
1934 talking over its head. 'Very uncomfortable for the Dormouse,'
1935 thought Alice; 'only, as it's asleep, I suppose it doesn't
1938 <p>The table was a large one, but the three were all crowded
1939 together at one corner of it: 'No room! No room!' they cried out
1940 when they saw Alice coming. 'There's <i>plenty</i> of room!' said
1941 Alice indignantly, and she sat down in a large arm-chair at one
1942 end of the table.</p>
1944 <p>'Have some wine,' the March Hare said in an encouraging
1947 <p>Alice looked all round the table, but there was nothing on it
1948 but tea. 'I don't see any wine,' she remarked.</p>
1950 <p>'There isn't any,' said the March Hare.</p>
1952 <p>'Then it wasn't very civil of you to offer it,' said Alice
1955 <p>'It wasn't very civil of you to sit down without being
1956 invited,' said the March Hare.</p>
1958 <p>'I didn't know it was <i>your</i> table,' said Alice; 'it's
1959 laid for a great many more than three.'</p>
1961 <p>'Your hair wants cutting,' said the Hatter. He had been
1962 looking at Alice for some time with great curiosity, and this was
1963 his first speech.</p>
1965 <p>'You should learn not to make personal remarks,' Alice said
1966 with some severity; 'it's very rude.'</p>
1968 <p>The Hatter opened his eyes very wide on hearing this; but all
1969 he <i>said</i> was, 'Why is a raven like a writing-desk?'</p>
1971 <p>'Come, we shall have some fun now!' thought Alice. 'I'm glad
1972 they've begun asking riddles.--I believe I can guess that,' she
1975 <p>'Do you mean that you think you can find out the answer to
1976 it?' said the March Hare.</p>
1978 <p>'Exactly so,' said Alice.</p>
1980 <p>'Then you should say what you mean,' the March Hare went
1983 <p>'I do,' Alice hastily replied; 'at least--at least I mean what
1984 I say--that's the same thing, you know.'</p>
1986 <p>'Not the same thing a bit!' said the Hatter. 'You might just
1987 as well say that "I see what I eat" is the same thing as "I eat
1990 <p>'You might just as well say,' added the March Hare, 'that "I
1991 like what I get" is the same thing as "I get what I like"!'</p>
1993 <p>'You might just as well say,' added the Dormouse, who seemed
1994 to be talking in his sleep, 'that "I breathe when I sleep" is the
1995 same thing as "I sleep when I breathe"!'</p>
1997 <p>'It <i>is</i> the same thing with you,' said the Hatter, and
1998 here the conversation dropped, and the party sat silent for a
1999 minute, while Alice thought over all she could remember about
2000 ravens and writing-desks, which wasn't much.</p>
2002 <p>The Hatter was the first to break the silence. 'What day of
2003 the month is it?' he said, turning to Alice: he had taken his
2004 watch out of his pocket, and was looking at it uneasily, shaking
2005 it every now and then, and holding it to his ear.</p>
2007 <p>Alice considered a little, and then said 'The fourth.'</p>
2009 <p>'Two days wrong!' sighed the Hatter. 'I told you butter
2010 wouldn't suit the works!' he added looking angrily at the March
2013 <p>'It was the <i>best</i> butter,' the March Hare meekly
2016 <p>'Yes, but some crumbs must have got in as well,' the Hatter
2017 grumbled: 'you shouldn't have put it in with the
2020 <p>The March Hare took the watch and looked at it gloomily: then
2021 he dipped it into his cup of tea, and looked at it again: but he
2022 could think of nothing better to say than his first remark, 'It
2023 was the <i>best</i> butter, you know.'</p>
2025 <p>Alice had been looking over his shoulder with some curiosity.
2026 'What a funny watch!' she remarked. 'It tells the day of the
2027 month, and doesn't tell what o'clock it is!'</p>
2029 <p>'Why should it?' muttered the Hatter. 'Does <i>your</i> watch
2030 tell you what year it is?'</p>
2032 <p>'Of course not,' Alice replied very readily: 'but that's
2033 because it stays the same year for such a long time
2036 <p>'Which is just the case with <i>mine</i>,' said the
2039 <p>Alice felt dreadfully puzzled. The Hatter's remark seemed to
2040 have no sort of meaning in it, and yet it was certainly English.
2041 'I don't quite understand you,' she said, as politely as she
2044 <p>'The Dormouse is asleep again,' said the Hatter, and he poured
2045 a little hot tea upon its nose.</p>
2047 <p>The Dormouse shook its head impatiently, and said, without
2048 opening its eyes, 'Of course, of course; just what I was going to
2051 <p>'Have you guessed the riddle yet?' the Hatter said, turning to
2054 <p>'No, I give it up,' Alice replied: 'what's the answer?'</p>
2056 <p>'I haven't the slightest idea,' said the Hatter.</p>
2058 <p>'Nor I,' said the March Hare.</p>
2060 <p>Alice sighed wearily. 'I think you might do something better
2061 with the time,' she said, 'than waste it in asking riddles that
2062 have no answers.'</p>
2064 <p>'If you knew Time as well as I do,' said the Hatter, 'you
2065 wouldn't talk about wasting <i>it</i>. It's <i>him</i>.'</p>
2067 <p>'I don't know what you mean,' said Alice.</p>
2069 <p>'Of course you don't!' the Hatter said, tossing his head
2070 contemptuously. 'I dare say you never even spoke to Time!'</p>
2072 <p>'Perhaps not,' Alice cautiously replied: 'but I know I have to
2073 beat time when I learn music.'</p>
2075 <p>'Ah! that accounts for it,' said the Hatter. 'He won't stand
2076 beating. Now, if you only kept on good terms with him, he'd do
2077 almost anything you liked with the clock. For instance, suppose
2078 it were nine o'clock in the morning, just time to begin lessons:
2079 you'd only have to whisper a hint to Time, and round goes the
2080 clock in a twinkling! Half-past one, time for dinner!'</p>
2082 <p>('I only wish it was,' the March Hare said to itself in a
2085 <p>'That would be grand, certainly,' said Alice thoughtfully:
2086 'but then--I shouldn't be hungry for it, you know.'</p>
2088 <p>'Not at first, perhaps,' said the Hatter: 'but you could keep
2089 it to half-past one as long as you liked.'</p>
2091 <p>'Is that the way <i>you</i> manage?' Alice asked.</p>
2093 <p>The Hatter shook his head mournfully. 'Not I!' he replied. 'We
2094 quarrelled last March--just before <i>he</i> went mad, you
2095 know--' (pointing with his tea spoon at the March Hare,) '--it
2096 was at the great concert given by the Queen of Hearts, and I had
2099 <p><i>"Twinkle, twinkle, little bat!</i></p>
2101 <p><i>How I wonder what you're at!"</i></p>
2103 <p>You know the song, perhaps?'</p>
2105 <p>'I've heard something like it,' said Alice.</p>
2107 <p>'It goes on, you know,' the Hatter continued, 'in this
2110 <p><i>"Up above the world you fly,</i></p>
2112 <p><i>Like a tea-tray in the sky.</i></p>
2114 <p><i>Twinkle, twinkle--"'</i></p>
2116 <p>Here the Dormouse shook itself, and began singing in its sleep
2117 '<i>Twinkle, twinkle, twinkle, twinkle--</i>' and went on so long
2118 that they had to pinch it to make it stop.</p>
2120 <p>'Well, I'd hardly finished the first verse,' said the Hatter,
2121 'when the Queen jumped up and bawled out, "He's murdering the
2122 time! Off with his head!"'</p>
2124 <p>'How dreadfully savage!' exclaimed Alice.</p>
2126 <p>'And ever since that,' the Hatter went on in a mournful tone,
2127 'he won't do a thing I ask! It's always six o'clock now.'</p>
2129 <p>A bright idea came into Alice's head. 'Is that the reason so
2130 many tea-things are put out here?' she asked.</p>
2132 <p>'Yes, that's it,' said the Hatter with a sigh: 'it's always
2133 tea-time, and we've no time to wash the things between
2136 <p>'Then you keep moving round, I suppose?' said Alice.</p>
2138 <p>'Exactly so,' said the Hatter: 'as the things get used
2141 <p>'But what happens when you come to the beginning again?' Alice
2142 ventured to ask.</p>
2144 <p>'Suppose we change the subject,' the March Hare interrupted,
2145 yawning. 'I'm getting tired of this. I vote the young lady tells
2148 <p>'I'm afraid I don't know one,' said Alice, rather alarmed at
2151 <p>'Then the Dormouse shall!' they both cried. 'Wake up,
2152 Dormouse!' And they pinched it on both sides at once.</p>
2154 <p>The Dormouse slowly opened his eyes. 'I wasn't asleep,' he
2155 said in a hoarse, feeble voice: 'I heard every word you fellows
2158 <p>'Tell us a story!' said the March Hare.</p>
2160 <p>'Yes, please do!' pleaded Alice.</p>
2162 <p>'And be quick about it,' added the Hatter, 'or you'll be
2163 asleep again before it's done.'</p>
2165 <p>'Once upon a time there were three little sisters,' the
2166 Dormouse began in a great hurry; 'and their names were Elsie,
2167 Lacie, and Tillie; and they lived at the bottom of a well--'</p>
2169 <p>'What did they live on?' said Alice, who always took a great
2170 interest in questions of eating and drinking.</p>
2172 <p>'They lived on treacle,' said the Dormouse, after thinking a
2175 <p>'They couldn't have done that, you know,' Alice gently
2176 remarked; 'they'd have been ill.'</p>
2178 <p>'So they were,' said the Dormouse; '<i>very</i> ill.'</p>
2180 <p>Alice tried to fancy to herself what such an extraordinary
2181 ways of living would be like, but it puzzled her too much, so she
2182 went on: 'But why did they live at the bottom of a well?'</p>
2184 <p>'Take some more tea,' the March Hare said to Alice, very
2187 <p>'I've had nothing yet,' Alice replied in an offended tone, 'so
2188 I can't take more.'</p>
2190 <p>'You mean you can't take <i>less</i>,' said the Hatter: 'it's
2191 very easy to take <i>more</i> than nothing.'</p>
2193 <p>'Nobody asked <i>your</i> opinion,' said Alice.</p>
2195 <p>'Who's making personal remarks now?' the Hatter asked
2198 <p>Alice did not quite know what to say to this: so she helped
2199 herself to some tea and bread-and-butter, and then turned to the
2200 Dormouse, and repeated her question. 'Why did they live at the
2201 bottom of a well?'</p>
2203 <p>The Dormouse again took a minute or two to think about it, and
2204 then said, 'It was a treacle-well.'</p>
2206 <p>'There's no such thing!' Alice was beginning very angrily, but
2207 the Hatter and the March Hare went 'Sh! sh!' and the Dormouse
2208 sulkily remarked, 'If you can't be civil, you'd better finish the
2209 story for yourself.'</p>
2211 <p>'No, please go on!' Alice said very humbly; 'I won't interrupt
2212 again. I dare say there may be <i>one</i>.'</p>
2214 <p>'One, indeed!' said the Dormouse indignantly. However, he
2215 consented to go on. 'And so these three little sisters--they were
2216 learning to draw, you know--'</p>
2218 <p>'What did they draw?' said Alice, quite forgetting her
2221 <p>'Treacle,' said the Dormouse, without considering at all this
2224 <p>'I want a clean cup,' interrupted the Hatter: 'let's all move
2227 <p>He moved on as he spoke, and the Dormouse followed him: the
2228 March Hare moved into the Dormouse's place, and Alice rather
2229 unwillingly took the place of the March Hare. The Hatter was the
2230 only one who got any advantage from the change: and Alice was a
2231 good deal worse off than before, as the March Hare had just upset
2232 the milk-jug into his plate.</p>
2234 <p>Alice did not wish to offend the Dormouse again, so she began
2235 very cautiously: 'But I don't understand. Where did they draw the
2238 <p>'You can draw water out of a water-well,' said the Hatter; 'so
2239 I should think you could draw treacle out of a treacle-well--eh,
2242 <p>'But they were <i>in</i> the well,' Alice said to the
2243 Dormouse, not choosing to notice this last remark.</p>
2245 <p>'Of course they were', said the Dormouse; '--well in.'</p>
2247 <p>This answer so confused poor Alice, that she let the Dormouse
2248 go on for some time without interrupting it.</p>
2250 <p>'They were learning to draw,' the Dormouse went on, yawning
2251 and rubbing its eyes, for it was getting very sleepy; 'and they
2252 drew all manner of things--everything that begins with an
2255 <p>'Why with an M?' said Alice.</p>
2257 <p>'Why not?' said the March Hare.</p>
2259 <p>Alice was silent.</p>
2261 <p>The Dormouse had closed its eyes by this time, and was going
2262 off into a doze; but, on being pinched by the Hatter, it woke up
2263 again with a little shriek, and went on: '--that begins with an
2264 M, such as mouse-traps, and the moon, and memory, and muchness--
2265 you know you say things are "much of a muchness"--did you ever
2266 see such a thing as a drawing of a muchness?'</p>
2268 <p>'Really, now you ask me,' said Alice, very much confused, 'I
2271 <p>'Then you shouldn't talk,' said the Hatter.</p>
2273 <p>This piece of rudeness was more than Alice could bear: she got
2274 up in great disgust, and walked off; the Dormouse fell asleep
2275 instantly, and neither of the others took the least notice of her
2276 going, though she looked back once or twice, half hoping that
2277 they would call after her: the last time she saw them, they were
2278 trying to put the Dormouse into the teapot.</p>
2280 <p>'At any rate I'll never go <i>there</i> again!' said Alice as
2281 she picked her way through the wood. 'It's the stupidest
2282 tea-party I ever was at in all my life!'</p>
2284 <p>Just as she said this, she noticed that one of the trees had a
2285 door leading right into it. 'That's very curious!' she thought.
2286 'But everything's curious today. I think I may as well go in at
2287 once.' And in she went.</p>
2289 <p>Once more she found herself in the long hall, and close to the
2290 little glass table. 'Now, I'll manage better this time,' she said
2291 to herself, and began by taking the little golden key, and
2292 unlocking the door that led into the garden. Then she went to
2293 work nibbling at the mushroom (she had kept a piece of it in her
2294 pocket) till she was about a foot high: then she walked down the
2295 little passage: and <i>then</i>--she found herself at last in the
2296 beautiful garden, among the bright flower-beds and the cool
2300 <h3 align="Center">CHAPTER VIII</h3>
2302 <h3 align="Center">The Queen's Croquet-Ground</h3>
2304 <p>A large rose-tree stood near the entrance of the garden: the
2305 roses growing on it were white, but there were three gardeners at
2306 it, busily painting them red. Alice thought this a very curious
2307 thing, and she went nearer to watch them, and just as she came up
2308 to them she heard one of them say, 'Look out now, Five! Don't go
2309 splashing paint over me like that!'</p>
2311 <p>'I couldn't help it,' said Five, in a sulky tone; 'Seven
2312 jogged my elbow.'</p>
2314 <p>On which Seven looked up and said, 'That's right, Five! Always
2315 lay the blame on others!'</p>
2317 <p><i>You'd</i> better not talk!' said Five. 'I heard the Queen
2318 say only yesterday you deserved to be beheaded!'</p>
2320 <p>'What for?' said the one who had spoken first.</p>
2322 <p>'That's none of <i>your</i> business, Two!' said Seven.</p>
2324 <p>'Yes, it <i>is</i> his business!' said Five, 'and I'll tell
2325 him--it was for bringing the cook tulip-roots instead of
2328 <p>Seven flung down his brush, and had just begun 'Well, of all
2329 the unjust things--' when his eye chanced to fall upon Alice, as
2330 she stood watching them, and he checked himself suddenly: the
2331 others looked round also, and all of them bowed low.</p>
2333 <p>'Would you tell me,' said Alice, a little timidly, 'why you
2334 are painting those roses?'</p>
2336 <p>Five and Seven said nothing, but looked at Two. Two began in a
2337 low voice, 'Why the fact is, you see, Miss, this here ought to
2338 have been a <i>red</i> rose-tree, and we put a white one in by
2339 mistake; and if the Queen was to find it out, we should all have
2340 our heads cut off, you know. So you see, Miss, we're doing our
2341 best, afore she comes, to--' At this moment Five, who had been
2342 anxiously looking across the garden, called out 'The Queen! The
2343 Queen!' and the three gardeners instantly threw themselves flat
2344 upon their faces. There was a sound of many footsteps, and Alice
2345 looked round, eager to see the Queen.</p>
2347 <p>First came ten soldiers carrying clubs; these were all shaped
2348 like the three gardeners, oblong and flat, with their hands and
2349 feet at the corners: next the ten courtiers; these were
2350 ornamented all over with diamonds, and walked two and two, as the
2351 soldiers did. After these came the royal children; there were ten
2352 of them, and the little dears came jumping merrily along hand in
2353 hand, in couples: they were all ornamented with hearts. Next came
2354 the guests, mostly Kings and Queens, and among them Alice
2355 recognised the White Rabbit: it was talking in a hurried nervous
2356 manner, smiling at everything that was said, and went by without
2357 noticing her. Then followed the Knave of Hearts, carrying the
2358 King's crown on a crimson velvet cushion; and, last of all this
2359 grand procession, came THE KING AND QUEEN OF HEARTS.</p>
2361 <p>Alice was rather doubtful whether she ought not to lie down on
2362 her face like the three gardeners, but she could not remember
2363 ever having heard of such a rule at processions; 'and besides,
2364 what would be the use of a procession,' thought she, 'if people
2365 had all to lie down upon their faces, so that they couldn't see
2366 it?' So she stood still where she was, and waited.</p>
2368 <p>When the procession came opposite to Alice, they all stopped
2369 and looked at her, and the Queen said severely 'Who is this?' She
2370 said it to the Knave of Hearts, who only bowed and smiled in
2373 <p>'Idiot!' said the Queen, tossing her head impatiently; and,
2374 turning to Alice, she went on, 'What's your name, child?'</p>
2376 <p>'My name is Alice, so please your Majesty,' said Alice very
2377 politely; but she added, to herself, 'Why, they're only a pack of
2378 cards, after all. I needn't be afraid of them!'</p>
2380 <p>'And who are <i>these</i>?' said the Queen, pointing to the
2381 three gardeners who were lying round the rosetree; for, you see,
2382 as they were lying on their faces, and the pattern on their backs
2383 was the same as the rest of the pack, she could not tell whether
2384 they were gardeners, or soldiers, or courtiers, or three of her
2387 <p>'How should I know?' said Alice, surprised at her own courage.
2388 'It's no business of <i>mine</i>.'</p>
2390 <p>The Queen turned crimson with fury, and, after glaring at her
2391 for a moment like a wild beast, screamed 'Off with her head!
2394 <p>'Nonsense!' said Alice, very loudly and decidedly, and the
2395 Queen was silent.</p>
2397 <p>The King laid his hand upon her arm, and timidly said
2398 'Consider, my dear: she is only a child!'</p>
2400 <p>The Queen turned angrily away from him, and said to the Knave
2401 'Turn them over!'</p>
2403 <p>The Knave did so, very carefully, with one foot.</p>
2405 <p>'Get up!' said the Queen, in a shrill, loud voice, and the
2406 three gardeners instantly jumped up, and began bowing to the
2407 King, the Queen, the royal children, and everybody else.</p>
2409 <p>'Leave off that!' screamed the Queen. 'You make me giddy.' And
2410 then, turning to the rose-tree, she went on, 'What <i>have</i>
2411 you been doing here?'</p>
2413 <p>'May it please your Majesty,' said Two, in a very humble tone,
2414 going down on one knee as he spoke, 'we were trying--'</p>
2416 <p>'I see!' said the Queen, who had meanwhile been examining the
2417 roses. 'Off with their heads!' and the procession moved on, three
2418 of the soldiers remaining behind to execute the unfortunate
2419 gardeners, who ran to Alice for protection.</p>
2421 <p>'You shan't be beheaded!' said Alice, and she put them into a
2422 large flower-pot that stood near. The three soldiers wandered
2423 about for a minute or two, looking for them, and then quietly
2424 marched off after the others.</p>
2426 <p>'Are their heads off?' shouted the Queen.</p>
2428 <p>'Their heads are gone, if it please your Majesty!' the
2429 soldiers shouted in reply.</p>
2431 <p>'That's right!' shouted the Queen. 'Can you play croquet?'</p>
2433 <p>The soldiers were silent, and looked at Alice, as the question
2434 was evidently meant for her.</p>
2436 <p>'Yes!' shouted Alice.</p>
2438 <p>'Come on, then!' roared the Queen, and Alice joined the
2439 procession, wondering very much what would happen next.</p>
2441 <p>'It's--it's a very fine day!' said a timid voice at her side.
2442 She was walking by the White Rabbit, who was peeping anxiously
2445 <p>'Very,' said Alice: '--where's the Duchess?'</p>
2447 <p>'Hush! Hush!' said the Rabbit in a low, hurried tone. He
2448 looked anxiously over his shoulder as he spoke, and then raised
2449 himself upon tiptoe, put his mouth close to her ear, and
2450 whispered 'She's under sentence of execution.'</p>
2452 <p>'What for?' said Alice.</p>
2454 <p>'Did you say "What a pity!"?' the Rabbit asked.</p>
2456 <p>'No, I didn't,' said Alice: 'I don't think it's at all a pity.
2457 I said "What for?"'</p>
2459 <p>'She boxed the Queen's ears--' the Rabbit began. Alice gave a
2460 little scream of laughter. 'Oh, hush!' the Rabbit whispered in a
2461 frightened tone. 'The Queen will hear you! You see, she came
2462 rather late, and the Queen said--'</p>
2464 <p>'Get to your places!' shouted the Queen in a voice of thunder,
2465 and people began running about in all directions, tumbling up
2466 against each other; however, they got settled down in a minute or
2467 two, and the game began. Alice thought she had never seen such a
2468 curious croquet-ground in her life; it was all ridges and
2469 furrows; the balls were live hedgehogs, the mallets live
2470 flamingoes, and the soldiers had to double themselves up and to
2471 stand on their hands and feet, to make the arches.</p>
2473 <p>The chief difficulty Alice found at first was in managing her
2474 flamingo: she succeeded in getting its body tucked away,
2475 comfortably enough, under her arm, with its legs hanging down,
2476 but generally, just as she had got its neck nicely straightened
2477 out, and was going to give the hedgehog a blow with its head, it
2478 <i>would</i> twist itself round and look up in her face, with
2479 such a puzzled expression that she could not help bursting out
2480 laughing: and when she had got its head down, and was going to
2481 begin again, it was very provoking to find that the hedgehog had
2482 unrolled itself, and was in the act of crawling away: besides all
2483 this, there was generally a ridge or furrow in the way wherever
2484 she wanted to send the hedgehog to, and, as the doubled-up
2485 soldiers were always getting up and walking off to other parts of
2486 the ground, Alice soon came to the conclusion that it was a very
2487 difficult game indeed.</p>
2489 <p>The players all played at once without waiting for turns,
2490 quarrelling all the while, and fighting for the hedgehogs; and in
2491 a very short time the Queen was in a furious passion, and went
2492 stamping about, and shouting 'Off with his head!' or 'Off with
2493 her head!' about once in a minute.</p>
2495 <p>Alice began to feel very uneasy: to be sure, she had not as
2496 yet had any dispute with the Queen, but she knew that it might
2497 happen any minute, 'and then,' thought she, 'what would become of
2498 me? They're dreadfully fond of beheading people here; the great
2499 wonder is, that there's any one left alive!'</p>
2501 <p>She was looking about for some way of escape, and wondering
2502 whether she could get away without being seen, when she noticed a
2503 curious appearance in the air: it puzzled her very much at first,
2504 but, after watching it a minute or two, she made it out to be a
2505 grin, and she said to herself 'It's the Cheshire Cat: now I shall
2506 have somebody to talk to.'</p>
2508 <p>'How are you getting on?' said the Cat, as soon as there was
2509 mouth enough for it to speak with.</p>
2511 <p>Alice waited till the eyes appeared, and then nodded. 'It's no
2512 use speaking to it,' she thought, 'till its ears have come, or at
2513 least one of them.' In another minute the whole head appeared,
2514 and then Alice put down her flamingo, and began an account of the
2515 game, feeling very glad she had someone to listen to her. The Cat
2516 seemed to think that there was enough of it now in sight, and no
2517 more of it appeared.</p>
2519 <p>'I don't think they play at all fairly,' Alice began, in
2520 rather a complaining tone, 'and they all quarrel so dreadfully
2521 one can't hear oneself speak--and they don't seem to have any
2522 rules in particular; at least, if there are, nobody attends to
2523 them--and you've no idea how confusing it is all the things being
2524 alive; for instance, there's the arch I've got to go through next
2525 walking about at the other end of the ground--and I should have
2526 croqueted the Queen's hedgehog just now, only it ran away when it
2527 saw mine coming!'</p>
2529 <p>'How do you like the Queen?' said the Cat in a low voice.</p>
2531 <p>'Not at all,' said Alice: 'she's so extremely--' Just then she
2532 noticed that the Queen was close behind her, listening: so she
2533 went on, '--likely to win, that it's hardly worth while finishing
2536 <p>The Queen smiled and passed on.</p>
2538 <p>'Who <i>are</i> you talking to?' said the King, going up to
2539 Alice, and looking at the Cat's head with great curiosity.</p>
2541 <p>'It's a friend of mine--a Cheshire Cat,' said Alice: 'allow me
2542 to introduce it.'</p>
2544 <p>'I don't like the look of it at all,' said the King: 'however,
2545 it may kiss my hand if it likes.'</p>
2547 <p>'I'd rather not,' the Cat remarked.</p>
2549 <p>'Don't be impertinent,' said the King, 'and don't look at me
2550 like that!' He got behind Alice as he spoke.</p>
2552 <p>'A cat may look at a king,' said Alice. 'I've read that in
2553 some book, but I don't remember where.'</p>
2555 <p>'Well, it must be removed,' said the King very decidedly, and
2556 he called the Queen, who was passing at the moment, 'My dear! I
2557 wish you would have this cat removed!'</p>
2559 <p>The Queen had only one way of settling all difficulties, great
2560 or small. 'Off with his head!' she said, without even looking
2563 <p>'I'll fetch the executioner myself,' said the King eagerly,
2564 and he hurried off.</p>
2566 <p>Alice thought she might as well go back, and see how the game
2567 was going on, as she heard the Queen's voice in the distance,
2568 screaming with passion. She had already heard her sentence three
2569 of the players to be executed for having missed their turns, and
2570 she did not like the look of things at all, as the game was in
2571 such confusion that she never knew whether it was her turn or
2572 not. So she went in search of her hedgehog.</p>
2574 <p>The hedgehog was engaged in a fight with another hedgehog,
2575 which seemed to Alice an excellent opportunity for croqueting one
2576 of them with the other: the only difficulty was, that her
2577 flamingo was gone across to the other side of the garden, where
2578 Alice could see it trying in a helpless sort of way to fly up
2581 <p>By the time she had caught the flamingo and brought it back,
2582 the fight was over, and both the hedgehogs were out of sight:
2583 'but it doesn't matter much,' thought Alice, 'as all the arches
2584 are gone from this side of the ground.' So she tucked it away
2585 under her arm, that it might not escape again, and went back for
2586 a little more conversation with her friend.</p>
2588 <p>When she got back to the Cheshire Cat, she was surprised to
2589 find quite a large crowd collected round it: there was a dispute
2590 going on between the executioner, the King, and the Queen, who
2591 were all talking at once, while all the rest were quite silent,
2592 and looked very uncomfortable.</p>
2594 <p>The moment Alice appeared, she was appealed to by all three to
2595 settle the question, and they repeated their arguments to her,
2596 though, as they all spoke at once, she found it very hard indeed
2597 to make out exactly what they said.</p>
2599 <p>The executioner's argument was, that you couldn't cut off a
2600 head unless there was a body to cut it off from: that he had
2601 never had to do such a thing before, and he wasn't going to begin
2602 at <i>his</i> time of life.</p>
2604 <p>The King's argument was, that anything that had a head could
2605 be beheaded, and that you weren't to talk nonsense.</p>
2607 <p>The Queen's argument was, that if something wasn't done about
2608 it in less than no time she'd have everybody executed, all round.
2609 (It was this last remark that had made the whole party look so
2610 grave and anxious.)</p>
2612 <p>Alice could think of nothing else to say but 'It belongs to
2613 the Duchess: you'd better ask <i>her</i> about it.'</p>
2615 <p>'She's in prison,' the Queen said to the executioner: 'fetch
2616 her here.' And the executioner went off like an arrow.</p>
2618 <p>The Cat's head began fading away the moment he was gone, and,
2619 by the time he had come back with the Duchess, it had entirely
2620 disappeared; so the King and the executioner ran wildly up and
2621 down looking for it, while the rest of the party went back to the
2625 <h3 align="Center">CHAPTER IX</h3>
2627 <h3 align="Center">The Mock Turtle's Story</h3>
2629 <p>'You can't think how glad I am to see you again, you dear old
2630 thing!' said the Duchess, as she tucked her arm affectionately
2631 into Alice's, and they walked off together.</p>
2633 <p>Alice was very glad to find her in such a pleasant temper, and
2634 thought to herself that perhaps it was only the pepper that had
2635 made her so savage when they met in the kitchen.</p>
2637 <p>'When <i>I'm</i> a Duchess,' she said to herself, (not in a
2638 very hopeful tone though), 'I won't have any pepper in my kitchen
2639 <i>at all</i>. Soup does very well without--Maybe it's always
2640 pepper that makes people hot-tempered,' she went on, very much
2641 pleased at having found out a new kind of rule, 'and vinegar that
2642 makes them sour--and camomile that makes them bitter--and--and
2643 barley-sugar and such things that make children sweet-tempered. I
2644 only wish people knew that: then they wouldn't be so stingy about
2647 <p>She had quite forgotten the Duchess by this time, and was a
2648 little startled when she heard her voice close to her ear.
2649 'You're thinking about something, my dear, and that makes you
2650 forget to talk. I can't tell you just now what the moral of that
2651 is, but I shall remember it in a bit.'</p>
2653 <p>'Perhaps it hasn't one,' Alice ventured to remark.</p>
2655 <p>'Tut, tut, child!' said the Duchess. 'Everything's got a
2656 moral, if only you can find it.' And she squeezed herself up
2657 closer to Alice's side as she spoke.</p>
2659 <p>Alice did not much like keeping so close to her: first,
2660 because the Duchess was <i>very</i> ugly; and secondly, because she was
2661 exactly the right height to rest her chin upon Alice's shoulder,
2662 and it was an uncomfortably sharp chin. However, she did not like
2663 to be rude, so she bore it as well as she could.</p>
2665 <p>'The game's going on rather better now,' she said, by way of
2666 keeping up the conversation a little.</p>
2668 <p>''Tis so,' said the Duchess: 'and the moral of that is--"Oh,
2669 'tis love, 'tis love, that makes the world go round!"'</p>
2671 <p>'Somebody said,' Alice whispered, 'that it's done by everybody
2672 minding their own business!'</p>
2674 <p>'Ah, well! It means much the same thing,' said the Duchess,
2675 digging her sharp little chin into Alice's shoulder as she added,
2676 'and the moral of <i>that</i> is--"Take care of the sense, and
2677 the sounds will take care of themselves."'</p>
2679 <p>'How fond she is of finding morals in things!' Alice thought
2682 <p>'I dare say you're wondering why I don't put my arm round your
2683 waist,' the Duchess said after a pause: 'the reason is, that I'm
2684 doubtful about the temper of your flamingo. Shall I try the
2687 <p>'<i>He</i> might bite,' Alice cautiously replied, not feeling
2688 at all anxious to have the experiment tried.</p>
2690 <p>'Very true,' said the Duchess: 'flamingoes and mustard both
2691 bite. And the moral of that is--"Birds of a feather flock
2694 <p>'Only mustard isn't a bird,' Alice remarked.</p>
2696 <p>'Right, as usual,' said the Duchess: 'what a clear way you
2697 have of putting things!'</p>
2699 <p>'It's a mineral, I <i>think</i>,' said Alice.</p>
2701 <p>'Of course it is,' said the Duchess, who seemed ready to agree
2702 to everything that Alice said; 'there's a large mustard-mine near
2703 here. And the moral of that is--"The more there is of mine, the
2704 less there is of yours."'</p>
2706 <p>'Oh, I know!' exclaimed Alice, who had not attended to this
2707 last remark, 'it's a vegetable. It doesn't look like one, but it
2710 <p>'I quite agree with you,' said the Duchess; 'and the moral of
2711 that is--"Be what you would seem to be"--or if you'd like it put
2712 more simply--"Never imagine yourself not to be otherwise than
2713 what it might appear to others that what you were or might have
2714 been was not otherwise than what you had been would have appeared
2715 to them to be otherwise."'</p>
2717 <p>'I think I should understand that better,' Alice said very
2718 politely, 'if I had it written down: but I can't quite follow it
2721 <p>'That's nothing to what I could say if I chose,' the Duchess
2722 replied, in a pleased tone.</p>
2724 <p>'Pray don't trouble yourself to say it any longer than that,'
2727 <p>'Oh, don't talk about trouble!' said the Duchess. 'I make you
2728 a present of everything I've said as yet.'</p>
2730 <p>'A cheap sort of present!' thought Alice. 'I'm glad they don't
2731 give birthday presents like that!' But she did not venture to say
2734 <p>'Thinking again?' the Duchess asked, with another dig of her
2735 sharp little chin.</p>
2737 <p>'I've a right to think,' said Alice sharply, for she was
2738 beginning to feel a little worried.</p>
2740 <p>'Just about as much right,' said the Duchess, 'as pigs have to
2741 fly; and the m--'</p>
2743 <p>But here, to Alice's great surprise, the Duchess's voice died
2744 away, even in the middle of her favourite word 'moral,' and the
2745 arm that was linked into hers began to tremble. Alice looked up,
2746 and there stood the Queen in front of them, with her arms folded,
2747 frowning like a thunderstorm.</p>
2749 <p>'A fine day, your Majesty!' the Duchess began in a low, weak
2752 <p>'Now, I give you fair warning,' shouted the Queen, stamping on
2753 the ground as she spoke; 'either you or your head must be off,
2754 and that in about half no time! Take your choice!'</p>
2756 <p>The Duchess took her choice, and was gone in a moment.</p>
2758 <p>'Let's go on with the game,' the Queen said to Alice; and
2759 Alice was too much frightened to say a word, but slowly followed
2760 her back to the croquet-ground.</p>
2762 <p>The other guests had taken advantage of the Queen's absence,
2763 and were resting in the shade: however, the moment they saw her,
2764 they hurried back to the game, the Queen merely remarking that a
2765 moment's delay would cost them their lives.</p>
2767 <p>All the time they were playing the Queen never left off
2768 quarrelling with the other players, and shouting 'Off with his
2769 head!' or 'Off with her head!' Those whom she sentenced were
2770 taken into custody by the soldiers, who of course had to leave
2771 off being arches to do this, so that by the end of half an hour
2772 or so there were no arches left, and all the players, except the
2773 King, the Queen, and Alice, were in custody and under sentence of
2776 <p>Then the Queen left off, quite out of breath, and said to
2777 Alice, 'Have you seen the Mock Turtle yet?'</p>
2779 <p>'No,' said Alice. 'I don't even know what a Mock Turtle
2782 <p>'It's the thing Mock Turtle Soup is made from,' said the
2785 <p>'I never saw one, or heard of one,' said Alice.</p>
2787 <p>'Come on, then,' said the Queen, 'and he shall tell you his
2790 <p>As they walked off together, Alice heard the King say in a low
2791 voice, to the company generally, 'You are all pardoned.' 'Come,
2792 <i>that's</i> a good thing!' she said to herself, for she had
2793 felt quite unhappy at the number of executions the Queen had
2796 <p>They very soon came upon a Gryphon, lying fast asleep in the
2797 sun. (<i>If</i> you don't know what a Gryphon is, look at the picture.)
2798 'Up, lazy thing!' said the Queen, 'and take this young lady to
2799 see the Mock Turtle, and to hear his history. I must go back and
2800 see after some executions I have ordered'; and she walked off,
2801 leaving Alice alone with the Gryphon. Alice did not quite like
2802 the look of the creature, but on the whole she thought it would
2803 be quite as safe to stay with it as to go after that savage
2804 Queen: so she waited.</p>
2806 <p>The Gryphon sat up and rubbed its eyes: then it watched the
2807 Queen till she was out of sight: then it chuckled. 'What fun!'
2808 said the Gryphon, half to itself, half to Alice.</p>
2810 <p>'What <i>is</i> the fun?' said Alice.</p>
2812 <p>'Why, <i>she</i>,' said the Gryphon. 'It's all her fancy,
2813 that: they never executes nobody, you know. Come on!'</p>
2815 <p>'Everybody says "come on!" here,' thought Alice, as she went
2816 slowly after it: 'I never was so ordered about in all my life,
2819 <p>They had not gone far before they saw the Mock Turtle in the
2820 distance, sitting sad and lonely on a little ledge of rock, and,
2821 as they came nearer, Alice could hear him sighing as if his heart
2822 would break. She pitied him deeply. 'What is his sorrow?' she
2823 asked the Gryphon, and the Gryphon answered, very nearly in the
2824 same words as before, 'It's all his fancy, that: he hasn't got no
2825 sorrow, you know. Come on!'</p>
2827 <p>So they went up to the Mock Turtle, who looked at them with
2828 large eyes full of tears, but said nothing.</p>
2830 <p>'This here young lady,' said the Gryphon, 'she wants for to
2831 know your history, she do.'</p>
2833 <p>'I'll tell it her,' said the Mock Turtle in a deep, hollow
2834 tone: 'sit down, both of you, and don't speak a word till I've
2837 <p>So they sat down, and nobody spoke for some minutes. Alice
2838 thought to herself, 'I don't see how he can <i>even</i> finish,
2839 if he doesn't begin.' But she waited patiently.</p>
2841 <p>'Once,' said the Mock Turtle at last, with a deep sigh, 'I was
2844 <p>These words were followed by a very long silence, broken only
2845 by an occasional exclamation of 'Hjckrrh!' from the Gryphon, and
2846 the constant heavy sobbing of the Mock Turtle. Alice was very
2847 nearly getting up and saying, 'Thank you, sir, for your
2848 interesting story,' but she could not help thinking there
2849 <i>must</i> be more to come, so she sat still and said
2852 <p>'When we were little,' the Mock Turtle went on at last, more
2853 calmly, though still sobbing a little now and then, 'we went to
2854 school in the sea. The master was an old Turtle--we used to call
2857 <p>'Why did you call him Tortoise, if he wasn't one?' Alice
2860 <p>'We called him Tortoise because he taught us,' said the Mock
2861 Turtle angrily: 'really you are very dull!'</p>
2863 <p>'You ought to be ashamed of yourself for asking such a simple
2864 question,' added the Gryphon; and then they both sat silent and
2865 looked at poor Alice, who felt ready to sink into the earth. At
2866 last the Gryphon said to the Mock Turtle, 'Drive on, old fellow!
2867 Don't be all day about it!' and he went on in these words:</p>
2869 <p>'Yes, we went to school in the sea, though you mayn't believe
2872 <p>'I never said I didn't!' interrupted Alice.</p>
2874 <p>'You did,' said the Mock Turtle.</p>
2876 <p>'Hold your tongue!' added the Gryphon, before Alice could
2877 speak again. The Mock Turtle went on.</p>
2879 <p>'We had the best of educations--in fact, we went to school
2882 <p>'<i>I've</i> been to a day-school, too,' said Alice; 'you
2883 needn't be so proud as all that.'</p>
2885 <p>'With extras?' asked the Mock Turtle a little anxiously.</p>
2887 <p>'Yes,' said Alice, 'we learned French and music.'</p>
2889 <p>'And washing?' said the Mock Turtle.</p>
2891 <p>'Certainly not!' said Alice indignantly.</p>
2893 <p>'Ah! then yours wasn't a really good school,' said the Mock
2894 Turtle in a tone of great relief. 'Now at <i>ours</i> they had at
2895 the end of the bill, "French, music, <i>and
2896 washing</i>--extra."'</p>
2898 <p>'You couldn't have wanted it much,' said Alice; 'living at the
2899 bottom of the sea.'</p>
2901 <p>'I couldn't afford to learn it.' said the Mock Turtle with a
2902 sigh. 'I only took the regular course.'</p>
2904 <p>'What was that?' inquired Alice.</p>
2906 <p>'Reeling and Writhing, of course, to begin with,' the Mock
2907 Turtle replied; 'and then the different branches of Arithmetic--
2908 Ambition, Distraction, Uglification, and Derision.'</p>
2910 <p>'I never heard of "Uglification,"' Alice ventured to say.
2913 <p>The Gryphon lifted up both its paws in surprise. 'What! Never
2914 heard of uglifying!' it exclaimed. 'You know what to beautify is,
2917 <p>'Yes,' said Alice doubtfully: 'it
2918 means--to--make--anything--prettier.'</p>
2920 <p>'Well, then,' the Gryphon went on, 'if you don't know what to
2921 uglify is, you <i>are</i> a simpleton.'</p>
2923 <p>Alice did not feel encouraged to ask any more questions about
2924 it, so she turned to the Mock Turtle, and said 'What else had you
2927 <p>'Well, there was Mystery,' the Mock Turtle replied, counting
2928 off the subjects on his flappers, '--Mystery, ancient and modern,
2929 with Seaography: then Drawling--the Drawling-master was an old
2930 conger-eel, that used to come once a week: <i>He</i> taught us
2931 Drawling, Stretching, and Fainting in Coils.'</p>
2933 <p>'What was <i>that</i> like?' said Alice.</p>
2935 <p>'Well, I can't show it you myself,' the Mock Turtle said: 'I'm
2936 too stiff. And the Gryphon never learnt it.'</p>
2938 <p>'Hadn't time,' said the Gryphon: 'I went to the Classics
2939 master, though. He was an old crab, <i>he</i> was.'</p>
2941 <p>'I never went to him,' the Mock Turtle said with a sigh: 'he
2942 taught Laughing and Grief, they used to say.'</p>
2944 <p>'So he did, so he did,' said the Gryphon, sighing in his turn;
2945 and both creatures hid their faces in their paws.</p>
2947 <p>'And how many hours a day did you do lessons?' said Alice, in
2948 a hurry to change the subject.</p>
2950 <p>'Ten hours the first day,' said the Mock Turtle: 'nine the
2951 next, and so on.'</p>
2953 <p>'What a curious plan!' exclaimed Alice.</p>
2955 <p>'That's the reason they're called lessons,' the Gryphon
2956 remarked: 'because they lessen from day to day.'</p>
2958 <p>This was quite a new idea to Alice, and she thought it over a
2959 little before she made her next remark. 'Then the eleventh day
2960 must have been a holiday?'</p>
2962 <p>'Of course it was,' said the Mock Turtle.</p>
2964 <p>'And how did you manage on the twelfth?' Alice went on
2967 <p>'That's enough about lessons,' the Gryphon interrupted in a
2968 very decided tone: 'tell her something about the games now.'</p>
2971 <h3 align="Center">CHAPTER X</h3>
2973 <h3 align="Center">The Lobster Quadrille</h3>
2975 <p>The Mock Turtle sighed deeply, and drew the back of one
2976 flapper across his eyes. He looked at Alice, and tried to speak,
2977 but for a minute or two sobs choked his voice. 'Same as if he had
2978 a bone in his throat,' said the Gryphon: and it set to work
2979 shaking him and punching him in the back. At last the Mock Turtle
2980 recovered his voice, and, with tears running down his cheeks, he
2981 went on again:--</p>
2983 <p>'You may not have lived much under the sea--' ('I haven't,'
2984 said Alice)-- 'and perhaps you were never even introduced to a
2985 lobster--' (Alice began to say 'I once tasted--' but checked
2986 herself hastily, and said 'No, never') '--so you can have no idea
2987 what a delightful thing a Lobster Quadrille is!'</p>
2989 <p>'No, indeed,' said Alice. 'What sort of a dance is it?'</p>
2991 <p>'Why,' said the Gryphon, 'you first form into a line along the
2994 <p>'Two lines!' cried the Mock Turtle. 'Seals, turtles, salmon,
2995 and so on; then, when you've cleared all the jelly-fish out of
2998 <p>'<i>That</i> generally takes some time,' interrupted the
3001 <p>'--you advance twice--'</p>
3003 <p>'Each with a lobster as a partner!' cried the Gryphon.</p>
3005 <p>'Of course,' the Mock Turtle said: 'advance twice, set to
3008 <p>'--change lobsters, and retire in same order,' continued the
3011 <p>'Then, you know,' the Mock Turtle went on, 'you throw
3014 <p>'The lobsters!' shouted the Gryphon, with a bound into the
3017 <p>'--as far out to sea as you can--'</p>
3019 <p>'Swim after them!' screamed the Gryphon.</p>
3021 <p>'Turn a somersault in the sea!' cried the Mock Turtle,
3022 capering wildly about.</p>
3024 <p>'Change lobster's again!' yelled the Gryphon at the top of its
3027 <p>'Back to land again, and that's all the first figure,' said
3028 the Mock Turtle, suddenly dropping his voice; and the two
3029 creatures, who had been jumping about like mad things all this
3030 time, sat down again very sadly and quietly, and looked at
3033 <p>'It must be a very pretty dance,' said Alice timidly.</p>
3035 <p>'Would you like to see a little of it?' said the Mock
3038 <p>'Very much indeed,' said Alice.</p>
3040 <p>'Come, let's try the first figure!' said the Mock Turtle to
3041 the Gryphon. 'We can do without lobsters, you know. Which shall
3044 <p>'Oh, <i>you</i> sing,' said the Gryphon. 'I've forgotten the
3047 <p>So they began solemnly dancing round and round Alice, every
3048 now and then treading on her toes when they passed too close, and
3049 waving their forepaws to mark the time, while the Mock Turtle
3050 sang this, very slowly and sadly:--</p>
3052 <p><i>'"Will you walk a little faster?" said a whiting to a
3053 snail. "There's a porpoise close behind us, and he's treading on
3054 my tail. See how eagerly the lobsters and the turtles all
3055 advance! They are waiting on the shingle--will you come and join
3058 <p><i>Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, will you join the
3059 dance? Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, won't you join
3062 <p><i>"You can really have no notion how delightful it will be
3063 When they take us up and throw us, with the lobsters, out to
3064 sea!" But the snail replied "Too far, too far!" and gave a look
3065 askance-- Said he thanked the whiting kindly, but he would not
3066 join the dance. Would not, could not, would not, could not, would
3067 not join the dance. Would not, could not, would not, could not,
3068 could not join the dance.</i></p>
3070 <p><i>'"What matters it how far we go?" his scaly friend replied.
3071 "There is another shore, you know, upon the other side. The
3072 further off from England the nearer is to France-- Then turn not
3073 pale, beloved snail, but come and join the dance.</i></p>
3075 <p><i>Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, will you join the
3076 dance? Will you, won't you, will you, won't you, won't you join
3077 the dance?"'</i></p>
3079 <p>'Thank you, it's a very interesting dance to watch,' said
3080 Alice, feeling very glad that it was over at last: 'and I do so
3081 like that curious song about the whiting!'</p>
3083 <p>'Oh, as to the whiting,' said the Mock Turtle, 'they--you've
3084 seen them, of course?'</p>
3086 <p>'Yes,' said Alice, 'I've often seen them at dinn--' she
3087 checked herself hastily.</p>
3089 <p>'I don't know where Dinn may be,' said the Mock Turtle, 'but
3090 if you've seen them so often, of course you know what they're
3093 <p>'I believe so,' Alice replied thoughtfully. 'They have their
3094 tails in their mouths--and they're all over crumbs.'</p>
3096 <p>'You're wrong about the crumbs,' said the Mock Turtle: 'crumbs
3097 would all wash off in the sea. But they <i>have</i> their tails
3098 in their mouths; and the reason is--' here the Mock Turtle yawned
3099 and shut his eyes.--'Tell her about the reason and all that,' he
3100 said to the Gryphon.</p>
3102 <p>'The reason is,' said the Gryphon, 'that they <i>would</i> go
3103 with the lobsters to the dance. So they got thrown out to sea. So
3104 they had to fall a long way. So they got their tails fast in
3105 their mouths. So they couldn't get them out again. That's
3108 <p>'Thank you,' said Alice, 'it's very interesting. I never knew
3109 so much about a whiting before.'</p>
3111 <p>'I can tell you more than that, if you like,' said the
3112 Gryphon. 'Do you know why it's called a whiting?'</p>
3114 <p>'I never thought about it,' said Alice. 'Why?'</p>
3116 <p><i>'It does the boots and shoes.'</i> the Gryphon replied very
3119 <p>Alice was thoroughly puzzled. 'Does the boots and shoes!' she
3120 repeated in a wondering tone.</p>
3122 <p>'Why, what are <i>your</i> shoes done with?' said the Gryphon.
3123 'I mean, what makes them so shiny?'</p>
3125 <p>Alice looked down at them, and considered a little before she
3126 gave her answer. 'They're done with blacking, I believe.'</p>
3128 <p>'Boots and shoes under the sea,' the Gryphon went on in a deep
3129 voice, 'are done with a whiting. Now you know.'</p>
3131 <p>'And what are they made of?' Alice asked in a tone of great
3134 <p>'Soles and eels, of course,' the Gryphon replied rather
3135 impatiently: 'any shrimp could have told you that.'</p>
3137 <p>'If I'd been the whiting,' said Alice, whose thoughts were
3138 still running on the song, 'I'd have said to the porpoise, "Keep
3139 back, please: we don't want <i>you</i> with us!"'</p>
3141 <p>'They were obliged to have him with them,' the Mock Turtle
3142 said: 'no wise fish would go anywhere without a porpoise.'</p>
3144 <p>'Wouldn't it really?' said Alice in a tone of great
3147 <p>'Of course not,' said the Mock Turtle: 'why, if a fish came to
3148 <i>me</i>, and told me he was going a journey, I should say "With
3149 what porpoise?"'</p>
3151 <p>'Don't you mean "purpose"?' said Alice.</p>
3153 <p>'I mean what I say,' the Mock Turtle replied in an offended
3154 tone. And the Gryphon added 'Come, let's hear some of <i>your</i>
3157 <p>'I could tell you my adventures--beginning from this morning,'
3158 said Alice a little timidly: 'but it's no use going back to
3159 yesterday, because I was a different person then.'</p>
3161 <p>'Explain all that,' said the Mock Turtle.</p>
3163 <p>'No, no! The adventures first,' said the Gryphon in an
3164 impatient tone: 'explanations take such a dreadful time.'</p>
3166 <p>So Alice began telling them her adventures from the time when
3167 she first saw the White Rabbit. She was a little nervous about it
3168 just at first, the two creatures got so close to her, one on each
3169 side, and opened their eyes and mouths so <i>very</i> wide, but
3170 she gained courage as she went on. Her listeners were perfectly
3171 quiet till she got to the part about her repeating <i>'You are
3172 old, Father William,'</i> to the Caterpillar, and the words all
3173 coming different, and then the Mock Turtle drew a long breath,
3174 and said 'That's very curious.'</p>
3176 <p>'It's all about as curious as it can be,' said the
3179 <p>'It all came different!' the Mock Turtle repeated
3180 thoughtfully. 'I should like to hear her try and repeat something
3181 now. Tell her to begin.' He looked at the Gryphon as if he
3182 thought it had some kind of authority over Alice.</p>
3184 <p>'Stand up and repeat <i>"'Tis the voice of the sluggard,"'</i>
3185 said the Gryphon.</p>
3187 <p>'How the creatures order one about, and make one repeat
3188 lessons!' thought Alice; 'I might as well be at school at once.'
3189 However, she got up, and began to repeat it, but her head was so
3190 full of the Lobster Quadrille, that she hardly knew what she was
3191 saying, and the words came very queer indeed:--</p>
3193 <p>''Tis the voice of the Lobster; I heard him declare, "You have
3194 baked me too brown, I must sugar my hair." As a duck with its
3195 eyelids, so he with his nose Trims his belt and his buttons, and
3196 turns out his toes.'</p>
3198 <p>[later editions continued as follows When the sands are all
3199 dry, he is gay as a lark, And will talk in contemptuous tones of
3200 the Shark, But, when the tide rises and sharks are around, His
3201 voice has a timid and tremulous sound.]</p>
3203 <p>'That's different from what I used to say when I was a child,'
3204 said the Gryphon.</p>
3206 <p>'Well, I never heard it before,' said the Mock Turtle; 'but it
3207 sounds uncommon nonsense.'</p>
3209 <p>Alice said nothing; she had sat down with her face in her
3210 hands, wondering if anything would <i>ever</i> happen in a
3211 natural way again.</p>
3213 <p>'I should like to have it explained,' said the Mock
3216 <p>'She can't explain it,' said the Gryphon hastily. 'Go on with
3217 the next verse.'</p>
3219 <p>'But about his toes?' the Mock Turtle persisted. 'How
3220 <i>could</i> he turn them out with his nose, you know?'</p>
3222 <p>'It's the first position in dancing.' Alice said; but was
3223 dreadfully puzzled by the whole thing, and longed to change the
3226 <p>'Go on with the next verse,' the Gryphon repeated impatiently:
3227 'it begins "I passed by his garden."'</p>
3229 <p>Alice did not dare to disobey, though she felt sure it would
3230 all come wrong, and she went on in a trembling voice:--</p>
3232 <p><i>'I passed by his garden, and marked, with one eye, How the
3233 Owl and the Panther were sharing a pie--'</i></p>
3235 <p>[<tt>later editions continued as follows:</tt> <i>The Panther
3236 took pie-crust, and gravy, and meat, While the Owl had the dish
3237 as its share of the treat. When the pie was all finished, the
3238 Owl, as a boon, Was kindly permitted to pocket the spoon: While
3239 the Panther received knife and fork with a growl, And concluded
3240 the banquet--</i>]</p>
3242 <p>'What <i>is</i> the use of repeating all that stuff,' the Mock Turtle
3243 interrupted, 'if you don't explain it as you go on? It's by far
3244 the most confusing thing I ever heard!'</p>
3246 <p>'Yes, I think you'd better leave off,' said the Gryphon: and
3247 Alice was only too glad to do so.</p>
3249 <p>'Shall we try another figure of the Lobster Quadrille?' the
3250 Gryphon went on. 'Or would you like the Mock Turtle to sing you a
3253 <p>'Oh, a song, please, if the Mock Turtle would be so kind,'
3254 Alice replied, so eagerly that the Gryphon said, in a rather
3255 offended tone, 'Hm! No accounting for tastes! Sing her "Turtle
3256 Soup," will you, old fellow?'</p>
3258 <p>The Mock Turtle sighed deeply, and began, in a voice sometimes
3259 choked with sobs, to sing this:--</p>
3261 <p><i>'Beautiful Soup, so rich and green, Waiting in a hot
3262 tureen! Who for such dainties would not stoop? Soup of the
3263 evening, beautiful Soup! Soup of the evening, beautiful Soup!
3264 Beau--ootiful Soo--oop! Beau--ootiful Soo--oop! Soo--oop of the
3265 e--e--evening, Beautiful, beautiful Soup!</i></p>
3267 <p><i>'Beautiful Soup! Who cares for fish, Game, or any other
3268 dish? Who would not give all else for two pennyworth only of
3269 beautiful Soup? Pennyworth only of beautiful Soup? Beau--ootiful
3270 Soo--oop! Beau--ootiful Soo--oop! Soo--oop of the e--e--evening,
3271 Beautiful, beauti--FUL SOUP!'</i></p>
3273 <p>'Chorus again!' cried the Gryphon, and the Mock Turtle had
3274 just begun to repeat it, when a cry of 'The trial's beginning!'
3275 was heard in the distance.</p>
3277 <p>'Come on!' cried the Gryphon, and, taking Alice by the hand,
3278 it hurried off, without waiting for the end of the song.</p>
3280 <p>'What trial is it?' Alice panted as she ran; but the Gryphon
3281 only answered 'Come on!' and ran the faster, while more and more
3282 faintly came, carried on the breeze that followed them, the
3283 melancholy words:--</p>
3285 <p><i>'Soo--oop of the e--e--evening, Beautiful, beautiful
3289 <h3 align="Center">CHAPTER XI</h3>
3291 <h3 align="Center">Who Stole the Tarts?</h3>
3293 <p>The King and Queen of Hearts were seated on their throne when
3294 they arrived, with a great crowd assembled about them--all sorts
3295 of little birds and beasts, as well as the whole pack of cards:
3296 the Knave was standing before them, in chains, with a soldier on
3297 each side to guard him; and near the King was the White Rabbit,
3298 with a trumpet in one hand, and a scroll of parchment in the
3299 other. In the very middle of the court was a table, with a large
3300 dish of tarts upon it: they looked so good, that it made Alice
3301 quite hungry to look at them--'I wish they'd get the trial done,'
3302 she thought, 'and hand round the refreshments!' But there seemed
3303 to be no chance of this, so she began looking at everything about
3304 her, to pass away the time.</p>
3306 <p>Alice had never been in a court of justice before, but she had
3307 read about them in books, and she was quite pleased to find that
3308 she knew the name of nearly everything there. 'That's the judge,'
3309 she said to herself, 'because of his great wig.'</p>
3311 <p>The judge, by the way, was the King; and as he wore his crown
3312 over the wig, (look at the frontispiece if you want to see how he
3313 did it,) he did not look at all comfortable, and it was certainly
3316 <p>'And that's the jury-box,' thought Alice, 'and those twelve
3317 creatures,' (she was obliged to say 'creatures,' you see, because
3318 some of them were animals, and some were birds,) 'I suppose they
3319 are the jurors.' She said this last word two or three times over
3320 to herself, being rather proud of it: for she thought, and
3321 rightly too, that very few little girls of her age knew the
3322 meaning of it at all. However, 'jury-men' would have done just as
3325 <p>The twelve jurors were all writing very busily on slates.
3326 'What are they doing?' Alice whispered to the Gryphon. 'They
3327 can't have anything to put down yet, before the trial's
3330 <p>'They're putting down their names,' the Gryphon whispered in
3331 reply, 'for fear they should forget them before the end of the
3334 <p>'Stupid things!' Alice began in a loud, indignant voice, but
3335 she stopped hastily, for the White Rabbit cried out, 'Silence in
3336 the court!' and the King put on his spectacles and looked
3337 anxiously round, to make out who was talking.</p>
3339 <p>Alice could see, as well as if she were looking over their
3340 shoulders, that all the jurors were writing down 'stupid things!'
3341 on their slates, and she could even make out that one of them
3342 didn't know how to spell 'stupid,' and that he had to ask his
3343 neighbour to tell him. 'A nice muddle their slates'll be in
3344 before the trial's over!' thought Alice.</p>
3346 <p>One of the jurors had a pencil that squeaked. This of course,
3347 Alice could <i>not</i> stand, and she went round the court and
3348 got behind him, and very soon found an opportunity of taking it
3349 away. She did it so quickly that the poor little juror (it was
3350 Bill, the Lizard) could not make out at all what had become of
3351 it; so, after hunting all about for it, he was obliged to write
3352 with one finger for the rest of the day; and this was of very
3353 little use, as it left no mark on the slate.</p>
3355 <p>'Herald, read the accusation!' said the King.</p>
3357 <p>On this the White Rabbit blew three blasts on the trumpet, and
3358 then unrolled the parchment scroll, and read as follows:--</p>
3360 <p><i>'The Queen of Hearts, she made some tarts, All on a summer
3361 day: The Knave of Hearts, he stole those tarts, And took them
3362 quite away!'</i></p>
3364 <p>'Consider your verdict,' the King said to the jury.</p>
3366 <p>'Not yet, not yet!' the Rabbit hastily interrupted. 'There's a
3367 great deal to come before that!'</p>
3369 <p>'Call the first witness,' said the King; and the White Rabbit
3370 blew three blasts on the trumpet, and called out, 'First
3373 <p>The first witness was the Hatter. He came in with a teacup in
3374 one hand and a piece of bread-and-butter in the other. 'I beg
3375 pardon, your Majesty,' he began, 'for bringing these in: but I
3376 hadn't quite finished my tea when I was sent for.'</p>
3378 <p>'You ought to have finished,' said the King. 'When did you
3381 <p>The Hatter looked at the March Hare, who had followed him into
3382 the court, arm-in-arm with the Dormouse. 'Fourteenth of March, I
3383 <i>think</i> it was,' he said.</p>
3385 <p>'Fifteenth,' said the March Hare.</p>
3387 <p>'Sixteenth,' added the Dormouse.</p>
3389 <p>'Write that down,' the King said to the jury, and the jury
3390 eagerly wrote down all three dates on their slates, and then
3391 added them up, and reduced the answer to shillings and pence.</p>
3393 <p>'Take off your hat,' the King said to the Hatter.</p>
3395 <p>'It isn't mine,' said the Hatter.</p>
3397 <p>'<i>Stolen!</i>' the King exclaimed, turning to the jury, who
3398 instantly made a memorandum of the fact.</p>
3400 <p>'I keep them to sell,' the Hatter added as an explanation;
3401 'I've none of my own. I'm a hatter.'</p>
3403 <p>Here the Queen put on her spectacles, and began staring at the
3404 Hatter, who turned pale and fidgeted.</p>
3406 <p>'Give your evidence,' said the King; 'and don't be nervous, or
3407 I'll have you executed on the spot.'</p>
3409 <p>This did not seem to encourage the witness at all: he kept
3410 shifting from one foot to the other, looking uneasily at the
3411 Queen, and in his confusion he bit a large piece out of his
3412 teacup instead of the bread-and-butter.</p>
3414 <p>Just at this moment Alice felt a very curious sensation, which
3415 puzzled her a good deal until she made out what it was: she was
3416 beginning to grow larger again, and she thought at first she
3417 would get up and leave the court; but on second thoughts she
3418 decided to remain where she was as long as there was room for
3421 <p>'I wish you wouldn't squeeze so.' said the Dormouse, who was
3422 sitting next to her. 'I can hardly breathe.'</p>
3424 <p>'I can't help it,' said Alice very meekly: 'I'm growing.'</p>
3426 <p>'You've no right to grow <i>here</i>,' said the Dormouse.</p>
3428 <p>'Don't talk nonsense,' said Alice more boldly: 'you know
3429 you're growing too.'</p>
3431 <p>'Yes, but <i>I</i> grow at a reasonable pace,' said the
3432 Dormouse: 'not in that ridiculous fashion.' And he got up very
3433 sulkily and crossed over to the other side of the court.</p>
3435 <p>All this time the Queen had never left off staring at the
3436 Hatter, and, just as the Dormouse crossed the court, she said to
3437 one of the officers of the court, 'Bring me the list of the
3438 singers in the last concert!' on which the wretched Hatter
3439 trembled so, that he shook both his shoes off.</p>
3441 <p>'Give your evidence,' the King repeated angrily, 'or I'll have
3442 you executed, whether you're nervous or not.'</p>
3444 <p>'I'm a poor man, your Majesty,' the Hatter began, in a
3445 trembling voice, '--and I hadn't begun my tea--not above a week
3446 or so--and what with the bread-and-butter getting so thin--and
3447 the twinkling of the tea--'</p>
3449 <p>'The twinkling of the <i>what</i>?' said the King.</p>
3451 <p>'It <i>began</i> with the tea,' the Hatter replied.</p>
3453 <p>'Of course twinkling <i>begins</i> with a T!' said the King
3454 sharply. 'Do you take me for a dunce? Go on!'</p>
3456 <p>'I'm a poor man,' the Hatter went on, 'and most things
3457 twinkled after that--only the March Hare said--'</p>
3459 <p>'I didn't!' the March Hare interrupted in a great hurry.</p>
3461 <p>'You did!' said the Hatter.</p>
3463 <p>'I deny it!' said the March Hare.</p>
3465 <p>'He denies it,' said the King: 'leave out that part.'</p>
3467 <p>'Well, at any rate, the Dormouse said--' the Hatter went on,
3468 looking anxiously round to see if he would deny it too: but the
3469 Dormouse denied nothing, being fast asleep.</p>
3471 <p>'After that,' continued the Hatter, 'I cut some more bread-
3474 <p>'But what did the Dormouse say?' one of the jury asked.</p>
3476 <p>'That I can't remember,' said the Hatter.</p>
3478 <p>'You <i>must</i> remember,' remarked the King, 'or I'll have
3481 <p>The miserable Hatter dropped his teacup and bread-and-butter,
3482 and went down on one knee. 'I'm a poor man, your Majesty,' he
3485 <p>'You're a very poor <i>speaker</i>,' said the King.</p>
3487 <p>Here one of the guinea-pigs cheered, and was immediately
3488 suppressed by the officers of the court. (As that is rather a
3489 hard word, I will just explain to you how it was done. They had a
3490 large canvas bag, which tied up at the mouth with strings: into
3491 this they slipped the guinea-pig, head first, and then sat upon
3494 <p>'I'm glad I've seen that done,' thought Alice. 'I've so often
3495 read in the newspapers, at the end of trials, "There was some
3496 attempts at applause, which was immediately suppressed by the
3497 officers of the court," and I never understood what it meant till
3500 <p>'If that's all you know about it, you may stand down,'
3501 continued the King.</p>
3503 <p>'I can't go no lower,' said the Hatter: 'I'm on the floor, as
3506 <p>'Then you may <i>sit</i> down,' the King replied.</p>
3508 <p>Here the other guinea-pig cheered, and was suppressed.</p>
3510 <p>'Come, that finished the guinea-pigs!' thought Alice. 'Now we
3511 shall get on better.'</p>
3513 <p>'I'd rather finish my tea,' said the Hatter, with an anxious
3514 look at the Queen, who was reading the list of singers.</p>
3516 <p>'You may go,' said the King, and the Hatter hurriedly left the
3517 court, without even waiting to put his shoes on.</p>
3519 <p>'--and just take his head off outside,' the Queen added to one
3520 of the officers: but the Hatter was out of sight before the
3521 officer could get to the door.</p>
3523 <p>'Call the next witness!' said the King.</p>
3525 <p>The next witness was the Duchess's cook. She carried the
3526 pepper-box in her hand, and Alice guessed who it was, even before
3527 she got into the court, by the way the people near the door began
3528 sneezing all at once.</p>
3530 <p>'Give your evidence,' said the King.</p>
3532 <p>'Shan't,' said the cook.</p>
3534 <p>The King looked anxiously at the White Rabbit, who said in a
3535 low voice, 'Your Majesty must cross-examine <i>this</i> witness.'</p>
3537 <p>'Well, if I must, I must,' the King said, with a melancholy
3538 air, and, after folding his arms and frowning at the cook till
3539 his eyes were nearly out of sight, he said in a deep voice, 'What
3540 are tarts made of?'</p>
3542 <p>'Pepper, mostly,' said the cook.</p>
3544 <p>'Treacle,' said a sleepy voice behind her.</p>
3546 <p>'Collar that Dormouse,' the Queen shrieked out. 'Behead that
3547 Dormouse! Turn that Dormouse out of court! Suppress him! Pinch
3548 him! Off with his whiskers!'</p>
3550 <p>For some minutes the whole court was in confusion, getting the
3551 Dormouse turned out, and, by the time they had settled down
3552 again, the cook had disappeared.</p>
3554 <p>'Never mind!' said the King, with an air of great relief.
3555 'Call the next witness.' And he added in an undertone to the
3556 Queen, 'Really, my dear, <i>you</i> must cross-examine the next
3557 witness. It quite makes my forehead ache!'</p>
3559 <p>Alice watched the White Rabbit as he fumbled over the list,
3560 feeling very curious to see what the next witness would be like,
3561 '--for they haven't got much evidence <i>yet</i>,' she said to
3562 herself. Imagine her surprise, when the White Rabbit read out, at
3563 the top of his shrill little voice, the name 'Alice!'</p>
3566 <h3 align="Center">CHAPTER XII</h3>
3568 <h3 align="Center">Alice's Evidence</h3>
3570 <p>'Here!' cried Alice, quite forgetting in the flurry of the
3571 moment how large she had grown in the last few minutes, and she
3572 jumped up in such a hurry that she tipped over the jury-box with
3573 the edge of her skirt, upsetting all the jurymen on to the heads
3574 of the crowd below, and there they lay sprawling about, reminding
3575 her very much of a globe of goldfish she had accidentally upset
3576 the week before.</p>
3578 <p>'Oh, I <i>beg</i> your pardon!' she exclaimed in a tone of
3579 great dismay, and began picking them up again as quickly as she
3580 could, for the accident of the goldfish kept running in her head,
3581 and she had a vague sort of idea that they must be collected at
3582 once and put back into the jury-box, or they would die.</p>
3584 <p>'The trial cannot proceed,' said the King in a very grave
3585 voice, 'until all the jurymen are back in their proper places--
3586 <i>all</i>,' he repeated with great emphasis, looking hard at
3587 Alice as he said do.</p>
3589 <p>Alice looked at the jury-box, and saw that, in her haste, she
3590 had put the Lizard in head downwards, and the poor little thing
3591 was waving its tail about in a melancholy way, being quite unable
3592 to move. She soon got it out again, and put it right; 'not that
3593 it signifies much,' she said to herself; 'I should think it would
3594 be <i>quite</i> as much use in the trial one way up as the
3597 <p>As soon as the jury had a little recovered from the shock of
3598 being upset, and their slates and pencils had been found and
3599 handed back to them, they set to work very diligently to write
3600 out a history of the accident, all except the Lizard, who seemed
3601 too much overcome to do anything but sit with its mouth open,
3602 gazing up into the roof of the court.</p>
3604 <p>'What do you know about this business?' the King said to
3607 <p>'Nothing,' said Alice.</p>
3609 <p>'Nothing <i>whatever?</i>' persisted the King.</p>
3611 <p>'Nothing <i>whatever,</i>' said Alice.</p>
3613 <p>'That's very important,' the King said, turning to the jury.
3614 They were just beginning to write this down on their slates, when
3615 the White Rabbit interrupted: '<i>Un</i>important, your Majesty
3616 means, of course,' he said in a very respectful tone, but
3617 frowning and making faces at him as he spoke.</p>
3619 <p>'<i>Un</i>important, of course, I meant,' the King hastily
3620 said, and went on to himself in an undertone,
3621 'important--unimportant-- unimportant--important--' as if he were
3622 trying which word sounded best.</p>
3624 <p>Some of the jury wrote it down 'important,' and some
3625 'unimportant.' Alice could see this, as she was near enough to
3626 look over their slates; 'but it doesn't matter a bit,' she
3627 thought to herself.</p>
3629 <p>At this moment the King, who had been for some time busily
3630 writing in his note-book, cackled out 'Silence!' and read out
3631 from his book, 'Rule Forty-two. <i>All persons more than a mile
3632 hight to leave the court</i>.'</p>
3634 <p>Everybody looked at Alice.</p>
3636 <p>'<i>I'm</i> not a mile high,' said Alice.</p>
3638 <p>'You are,' said the King.</p>
3640 <p>'Nearly two miles high,' added the Queen.</p>
3642 <p>'Well, I shan't go, at any rate,' said Alice: 'besides, that's
3643 not a regular rule: you invented it just now.'</p>
3645 <p>'It's the oldest rule in the book,' said the King.</p>
3647 <p>'Then it ought to be Number One,' said Alice.</p>
3649 <p>The King turned pale, and shut his note-book hastily.
3650 'Consider your verdict,' he said to the jury, in a low, trembling
3653 <p>'There's more evidence to come yet, please your Majesty,' said
3654 the White Rabbit, jumping up in a great hurry; 'this paper has
3655 just been picked up.'</p>
3657 <p>'What's in it?' said the Queen.</p>
3659 <p>'I haven't opened it yet,' said the White Rabbit, 'but it
3660 seems to be a letter, written by the prisoner to--to
3663 <p>'It must have been that,' said the King, 'unless it was
3664 written to nobody, which isn't usual, you know.'</p>
3666 <p>'Who is it directed to?' said one of the jurymen.</p>
3668 <p>'It isn't directed at all,' said the White Rabbit; 'in fact,
3669 there's nothing written on the <i>outside</i>.' He unfolded the
3670 paper as he spoke, and added 'It isn't a letter, after all: it's
3671 a set of verses.'</p>
3673 <p>'Are they in the prisoner's handwriting?' asked another of
3676 <p>'No, they're not,' said the White Rabbit, 'and that's the
3677 queerest thing about it.' (The jury all looked puzzled.)</p>
3679 <p>'He must have imitated somebody else's hand,' said the King.
3680 (The jury all brightened up again.)</p>
3682 <p>'Please your Majesty,' said the Knave, 'I didn't write it, and
3683 they can't prove I did: there's no name signed at the end.'</p>
3685 <p>'If you didn't sign it,' said the King, 'that only makes the
3686 matter worse. You <i>must</i> have meant some mischief, or else
3687 you'd have signed your name like an honest man.'</p>
3689 <p>There was a general clapping of hands at this: it was the
3690 first really clever thing the King had said that day.</p>
3692 <p>'That <i>proves</i> his guilt,' said the Queen.</p>
3694 <p>'It proves nothing of the sort!' said Alice. 'Why, you don't
3695 even know what they're about!'</p>
3697 <p>'Read them,' said the King.</p>
3699 <p>The White Rabbit put on his spectacles. 'Where shall I begin,
3700 please your Majesty?' he asked.</p>
3702 <p>'Begin at the beginning,' the King said gravely, 'and go on
3703 till you come to the end: then stop.'</p>
3705 <p>These were the verses the White Rabbit read:--</p>
3707 <p><i>'They told me you had been to her, And mentioned me to him:
3708 She gave me a good character, But said I could not swim.</i></p>
3710 <p><i>He sent them word I had not gone (We know it to be true):
3711 If she should push the matter on, What would become of
3714 <p><i>I gave her one, they gave him two, You gave us three or
3715 more; They all returned from him to you, Though they were mine
3718 <p><i>If I or she should chance to be Involved in this affair, He
3719 trusts to you to set them free, Exactly as we were.</i></p>
3721 <p><i>My notion was that you had been (Before she had this fit)
3722 An obstacle that came between Him, and ourselves, and it.</i></p>
3724 <p><i>Don't let him know she liked them best, For this must ever
3725 be A secret, kept from all the rest, Between yourself and
3728 <p>'That's the most important piece of evidence we've heard yet,'
3729 said the King, rubbing his hands; 'so now let the jury--'</p>
3731 <p>'If any one of them can explain it,' said Alice, (she had
3732 grown so large in the last few minutes that she wasn't a bit
3733 afraid of interrupting him,) 'I'll give him sixpence. _I_ don't
3734 believe there's an atom of meaning in it.'</p>
3736 <p>The jury all wrote down on their slates, '<i>She</i> doesn't
3737 believe there's an atom of meaning in it,' but none of them
3738 attempted to explain the paper.</p>
3740 <p>'If there's no meaning in it,' said the King, 'that saves a
3741 world of trouble, you know, as we needn't try to find any. And
3742 yet I don't know,' he went on, spreading out the verses on his
3743 knee, and looking at them with one eye; 'I seem to see some
3744 meaning in them, after all. "<i>-said I could not swim--</i>" you
3745 can't swim, can you?' he added, turning to the Knave.</p>
3747 <p>The Knave shook his head sadly. 'Do I look like it?' he said.
3748 (Which he certainly did <i>not</i>, being made entirely of
3751 <p>'All right, so far,' said the King, and he went on muttering
3752 over the verses to himself: '"<i>We know it to be true--</i>"
3753 that's the jury, of course-- "<i>I gave her one, they gave him
3754 two--</i>" why, that must be what he did with the tarts, you
3757 <p>'But, it goes on "<i>they all returned from him to you,</i>"'
3760 <p>'Why, there they are!' said the King triumphantly, pointing to
3761 the tarts on the table. 'Nothing can be clearer than <i>that</i>.
3762 Then again--"<i>before she had this fit-</i>-" you never had
3763 <i>fits</i>, my dear, I think?' he said to the Queen.</p>
3765 <p>'Never!' said the Queen furiously, throwing an inkstand at the
3766 Lizard as she spoke. (The unfortunate little Bill had left off
3767 writing on his slate with one finger, as he found it made no
3768 mark; but he now hastily began again, using the ink, that was
3769 trickling down his face, as long as it lasted.)</p>
3771 <p>'Then the words don't <i>fit</i> you,' said the King, looking
3772 round the court with a smile. There was a dead silence.</p>
3774 <p>'It's a pun!' the King added in an offended tone, and
3775 everybody laughed, 'Let the jury consider their verdict,' the
3776 King said, for about the twentieth time that day.</p>
3778 <p>'No, no!' said the Queen. 'Sentence first--verdict
3781 <p>'Stuff and nonsense!' said Alice loudly. 'The idea of having
3782 the sentence first!'</p>
3784 <p>'Hold your tongue!' said the Queen, turning purple.</p>
3786 <p>'I won't!' said Alice.</p>
3788 <p>'Off with her head!' the Queen shouted at the top of her
3789 voice. Nobody moved.</p>
3791 <p>'Who cares for you?' said Alice, (she had grown to her full
3792 size by this time.) 'You're nothing but a pack of cards!'</p>
3794 <p>At this the whole pack rose up into the air, and came flying
3795 down upon her: she gave a little scream, half of fright and half
3796 of anger, and tried to beat them off, and found herself lying on
3797 the bank, with her head in the lap of her sister, who was gently
3798 brushing away some dead leaves that had fluttered down from the
3799 trees upon her face.</p>
3801 <p>'Wake up, Alice dear!' said her sister; 'Why, what a long
3802 sleep you've had!'</p>
3804 <p>'Oh, I've had such a curious dream!' said Alice, and she told
3805 her sister, as well as she could remember them, all these strange
3806 Adventures of hers that you have just been reading about; and
3807 when she had finished, her sister kissed her, and said, 'It
3808 <i>was</i> a curious dream, dear, certainly: but now run in to
3809 your tea; it's getting late.' So Alice got up and ran off,
3810 thinking while she ran, as well she might, what a wonderful dream
3813 <p>But her sister sat still just as she left her, leaning her
3814 head on her hand, watching the setting sun, and thinking of
3815 little Alice and all her wonderful Adventures, till she too began
3816 dreaming after a fashion, and this was her dream:--</p>
3818 <p>First, she dreamed of little Alice herself, and once again the
3819 tiny hands were clasped upon her knee, and the bright eager eyes
3820 were looking up into hers--she could hear the very tones of her
3821 voice, and see that queer little toss of her head to keep back
3822 the wandering hair that <i>would</i> always get into her
3823 eyes--and still as she listened, or seemed to listen, the whole
3824 place around her became alive the strange creatures of her little
3827 <p>The long grass rustled at her feet as the White Rabbit hurried
3828 by--the frightened Mouse splashed his way through the
3829 neighbouring pool--she could hear the rattle of the teacups as
3830 the March Hare and his friends shared their never-ending meal,
3831 and the shrill voice of the Queen ordering off her unfortunate
3832 guests to execution--once more the pig-baby was sneezing on the
3833 Duchess's knee, while plates and dishes crashed around it--once
3834 more the shriek of the Gryphon, the squeaking of the Lizard's
3835 slate-pencil, and the choking of the suppressed guinea-pigs,
3836 filled the air, mixed up with the distant sobs of the miserable
3839 <p>So she sat on, with closed eyes, and half believed herself in
3840 Wonderland, though she knew she had but to open them again, and
3841 all would change to dull reality--the grass would be only
3842 rustling in the wind, and the pool rippling to the waving of the
3843 reeds--the rattling teacups would change to tinkling sheep-bells,
3844 and the Queen's shrill cries to the voice of the shepherd
3845 boy--and the sneeze of the baby, the shriek of the Gryphon, and
3846 all the other queer noises, would change (she knew) to the
3847 confused clamour of the busy farm-yard--while the lowing of the
3848 cattle in the distance would take the place of the Mock Turtle's
3851 <p>Lastly, she pictured to herself how this same little sister of
3852 hers would, in the after-time, be herself a grown woman; and how
3853 she would keep, through all her riper years, the simple and
3854 loving heart of her childhood: and how she would gather about her
3855 other little children, and make <i>their</i> eyes bright and eager with
3856 many a strange tale, perhaps even with the dream of Wonderland of
3857 long ago: and how she would feel with all their simple sorrows,
3858 and find a pleasure in all their simple joys, remembering her own
3859 child-life, and the happy summer days.</p>
3861 <p>End of the Project Gutenberg Etext of Alice's Adventures in
projects / platform / upstream / nodejs.git / blob